Home...

Home sweet home.

As much as I love traveling, I'm generally always glad to be back home. And, that was never more true than it was tonight.

K and I just got home from visiting his family in Ohio for the weekend. It was a relatively quick trip - we left on Friday afternoon and had a long day of traveling so we didn't get to his parent's house until mid-evening. The main event was his family's Christmas party on Saturday. I've met all of his family before and even spent Christmas there last year, although I arrived after the big Mohlman family celebration. And, when I say "big" I mean BIG. There are 20 people in K's immediate family. That's right, 20. Um, there's 4 people in my immediate family. Do the math.

I had a really rough time there this trip, generally feeling uncomfortable and not really a part of things "officially." Just to give an example...K's mom referred to me as his "roommate." Ouch.

On a positive note, K and I had a couple of good conversations about our relationship, our future, family dynamics, etc. We went to visit "the ring" at BBB on Thursday evening when we were up at the Domain for a happy hour with fellow Rogues. It's still as pretty as it was the first time I saw it.

We've been exploring possible dates for 2008, mostly in the fall. Coming up with possible choices on our own (without even considering venue availability yet) has proven to be quite challenging. Let's just say that the Ohio State football schedule has been consulted several times.

I think this will be good motivation for me to refocus on my fitness and weight goals for 2008.

On another note, we're going to Denver in a few weeks for a ski trip. FUN.

Better...

K has (finally) learned the power of saying sorry with flowers...
I just hope it hasn't become our tradition to celebrate Christmas on Dec. 26th. We exchanged gifts tonight...stocking stuffers before dinner at P.F. Chang's then the rest of the gifts afterwards. Most of my stuff from K and my parents is fitness-related - a few more pairs of my favorite running shorts in my new (bigger) size; swim cap; gift certificate for massages; gift certificate for shoes at RunTex; running socks; bike trainer; and Garmin Forerunner (which hasn't arrived in the mail yet, but I am super excited to try it out!). Of course, K made out pretty well himself...
He's rockin' out to Guitar Hero right now. How lucky am I?!?!

Not quite over...

All day yesterday I just wanted Christmas to be over. It was terrible. It's definitely not a good holiday when the highlight is running your track workout by yourself (12x200's).

Now, I'm back at work. It's not even 9am yet and I've already had the handful of people that are actually here working today inquire about my Christmas. I can't really tell them that it sucked, can I?

And, then of course, Christmas part III is this weekend when we go up to Ohio to visit Kurt's family. Oh, great, more holiday goodness. Just what I need. I don't have the emotional energy for this.

Bah, Humbug...

Sharing the holidays with a partner is proving to be difficult for me and K. Virtually nothing about the holidays last year or this year has gone smoothly in our relationship. There were apparent compromises made this year, with the beauty of it being that we could do whatever we wanted on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day this year. A chance to develop new traditions as a couple and future family. But, that has turned out to be harder than expected. I am starting to really just dread the holidays at this point because we apparently don't do it well together.

Christmas, Part I

We're celebrating Christmas in 3 parts this year. First, we made a quick trip up to Dallas this weekend. We left Austin shortly before noon on Saturday, not really taking into account that traffic would be heavy with people traveling for the holidays. I had gotten a last minute hair appointment with my stylist in Dallas for 3pm, so we were pushing it to make it in time. And, of course, we didn't. Fortunately, traffic improved once we got to Waco, so we made it to Dallas by 3:30 and I was able to get my hair done after all. Whew! She always straightens my hair for me when I see her, so it's a nice treat to feel like a superstar for the day.

We had dinner with my mom in Lewisville last night. I've seen her several times within the past month for Thanksgiving, my brother's graduation, and Christmas. I know she'd like for me to come up more often throughout the year. Maybe next year will be different...

We stayed at The Fairmont in downtown Dallas last night. It's a nice, swanky hotel that we got a really good deal on. K loved the flat screen TV...just what he needs to watch sports on! We were hoping to go out with some friends last night, but it didn't work out. I was fading fast after 10:00pm and called it a night at 10:45 before making it out. I know, I know, I'm old.

We had lunch today with one of my best friends, Pete, at a Dallas/SMU landmark...Snuffer's on Greenville Ave. Mmmmm, cheese fries. And, no, I didn't run this weekend to really earn being able to eat them. After lunch, K and I spent some time at the Nasher Sculpture Center before heading back to Austin. What a great private collection of art! I enjoyed the outdoor sculpture garden, particularly this piece "Walking to the Sky" by Jonathan Borofsky (it's 100 feet!):
And, of course, here's K playing in the sculptures...

Elevation...

I'm trying to decide on a new route for my 3-mile easy run tonight. Given that I have chosen a hilly marathon, I better continue to run the neighborhood hills, as much as I hate them.

Here is the elevation map for Big Sur (UPHILL):

Here is the elevation map for St. George (DOWNHILL):

Which would you choose?

Registration for Big Sur is now 50% full.

Lottery for St. George opens April 1. 2nd time is a charm! The good news though is that if I don't get in again this year, then I will be guaranteed entry for 2009.

Birthday recap...

Yesterday concluded K's birthday "week." We started celebrating on Friday in Atlanta with my family and friends and finished last night at Mangia with K's co-workers and our "running family." Thanks to everyone who joined me in wishing Big K a very happy birthday. Pictures from last night are here.

Happy Birthday, Big K!

Happy 29th (I mean, 28th) birthday, buddy.

Atlanta, The Conclusion...

Yesterday was chilly and rainy here much of the day. After having lunch and window-shopping in Virginia Highlands (an area that we really liked last time), we spent the rest of the afternoon at The High Museum of Art. As expected, K closed the place down at 5pm. The funny thing though was that he actually came down and met me in the lobby (where I had been waiting since 3:30) at 4:30. I was shocked that he had finished earlier that I expected. However, we quickly realized that he had missed an entire floor where the big Impressionist exhibition was being shown. So, he ran up to see it and then we were among the last people to leave.
(Big K and Napoleon)

After the museum, we drove around a bit trying to find a place to eat dinner that would be easy and convienent. We ended up at a nice little pizza and pasta place in Midtown. Then, we made our way over to Phillips Arena in time for the pre-game warmup. The Hawks won, so that was good. Interestingly, the hockey game on Friday night seemed to draw more of a crowd than the basketball game did. We spent the night at Stephanie's place last night and have been hanging around here much of the morning. She has a 3-year-old son, who is really testing her patience right now. I don't think it's done much to inspire me and K to have kids anytime soon.

Our flight is later this afternoon, so we'll be back to Austin in time to run a few errands and get settled back at home before the workweek starts tomorrow. As usual, it will be a busy week - I have a massage tomorrow evening, we have our quality workout on Tuesday night followed by K's birthday party, I have ART on Thursday after work, and we head to Dallas for the weekend on Saturday. Whew! I'm already eager for another 4-day weekend.

Atlanta, cont...

We enjoyed ourselves at the hockey game last night. Our seats were pretty good - 6th row, I think. Phillips Arena is such a great multi-purpose venue. It is attached to the CNN Center, several restaurants, and a hotel. The basketball game is there tonight, too. It would be nice if Austin had a professional sports team of some sort.

Oh, this made absolutely no sense to me. On the large video screens at the arena, they scrolled through messages that people sent in as text messages. When I saw the first marriage proposal, I thought well okay, that's just par for the course - there's always one of those at every game it seems like. However, I counted at least 4 during the course of the evening! Are these guys stupid? It was going by so fast and there was no guarantee when it would go by, so there is a very good chance that their soon-to-be fiance didn't even see the proposal! I've already told K not to even think about doing that!
K just got back from running at Piedmont Park. Now, we're off to have lunch in Midtown probably. Then, he wants to check out The High. They have a special exhibit from The Louvre and an Impressionist exhibition too. As much as I enjoy going to museums, I don't always like going with K because he has to read EVERYTHING and I'm usually ready to go in half the time that it takes him. I doubt today will be any different.

Atlanta

Peace at last. We're sitting here in a hotel room in downtown Atlanta; K is watching tv while I upload pictures from our trip, check email, and blog. I'm glad it's finally just us again.

We arrived late Wednesday night. My mom arrived from DFW slightly earlier than we did, so my brother picked her up and took her to my best friend's house to stay. My dad picked K and I up then we headed up to their house and got settled in. We had to get up earlier than we would have liked for my brother's graduation from Kennesaw State University on Thursday morning. My brother and I took very different paths in life. I was the true first-born in every way with clear goals and plans, while he enjoyed life and lived in the moment. We were all so proud of him yesterday.
I was tired, grumpy, and stressed much of the day though. Family dysfunction and lack of control got to me. I got a long nap in the afternoon and the day brightened with a celebratory dinner with family and friends at Strip in Atlantic Station. K and I ate there when we were here back in July. My best friend knows the head chef at the restaurant, so we definitely got VIP treatment last night. The food was excellent! Yummy sushi and so much more, too!
I swear that I have gained 10 pounds from dinner last night and lunch this afternoon. I wanted to have a birthday lunch for K before my mom left this afternoon, so we had another delicious meal and dessert at Stephanie's house before taking my mom to the airport. Steak, lobster, and homemade cake...just a few of K's favorite things!
So, now we're just relaxing at the hotel for a bit before the hockey game tonight - Atlanta Thrashers vs. Toronto Maple Leafs. I think today marks the beginning of K's birthday celebration that will span through next Tuesday! I've spoiled him too much.

Weekend update...

It's Dec. 10th already. We don't have another weekend at home until after the new year. Things are gonna be busy, but in a good way.

We had a GREAT weekend. Friday night out at the Ben Lee show kicked the weekend off to a good start. We spent much of Saturday cleaning the house and getting ready for the party for my co-workers that night. Everything came together nicely, and I think the party was a huge success. We had a ton of great food, exchanged Secret Santa gifts, and got to mix and mingle with everyone's significant others. Thankfully for this old broad, folks cleared out around 10:30 or so. K and I cleaned up before going to bed, which was relatively easy. It was another night though past my bedtime, so we definitely made up for it by sleeping in until 11AM! on Sunday morning. It was awesome.

We did a little Christmas shopping yesterday. And, our trip to The Domain included a stop at Bailey Banks and Biddle to look at engagement rings. We had previously looked at them online a couple of weeks ago, but things looked different in person. "The ring" that I really liked was actually the 2nd one that I tried on. K's anxiety level during the trip was a 6 out of 10 (and it still is). He's doing good, though. :)

I had a super busy day at work today followed by ART afterwards. He worked on my upper back calf for the 1st time today, and it hurt. Hopefully, I'll have a good workout tomorrow - the Warhurst.

A night out...

While K and I stay pretty busy and do a lot of different things, we don't really go "out" a lot anymore. Out meaning going to a club or bar, drinking, and staying out way past my 10:30 bedtime. I'm old. I did all that many years ago and don't really have a big interest in doing it at this point in my life. I'd rather spend my time (and money) doing other things.

So, last night was a rare outing for us. On Thursday morning as I was driving my whopping 1-mile commute to work, I heard on the radio that one of my favorite artists who I have followed for years, Ben Lee, was playing at The Parish on Friday night. As soon as I got to work, I called K to tell him that we were going and got tickets.

We both had not so good days at work yesterday, so it was perfect timing for a night out. As I was getting ready, I even commented to K that it had been a long time since I got dressed up to go out with him. We had a yummy early dinner at Romeo's then actually came back home to relax for a little while before heading over to 6th Street. I'm old, remember. We got to The Parish shortly before 10 to find the 2nd opening band still playing. Good, easy to listen to music. Ben came on right on time at 10:45 and played an entertaining show as always.
Overall, it was a great Friday night with my K.

No big surprise that we didn't get up to run this morning. It's an easy 7-mile run though, so I will get it in on my own this weekend. Today will be busy though getting ready for my work Christmas party tonight. I still can't believe I offered to host it!

Seriously, what am I doing here?

It's been a hectic morning, especially for a Friday. I got called to do an emergency consult on a kid before 9am. Again, I got to flex those clinical muscles that I haven't used in a long time. It felt good. I told the kiddo that she needed counseling, which she was amenable to, but she indicated that she doesn't open up to a lot of people and asked if she could see me for counseling since she liked me (after only a 15-minute interaction with me in a "crisis" situation). THIS is what I should be doing - working directly with kids and families who need help. I also had a speaker come from an outside agency yesterday that works with kids and families affected by medical illness - it reminded me of the work that I did in the children's hospitals before. It made me sad because I realize how much I miss it and that I was good at it. I told her to let me know if her organization is ever looking to hire on a psychologist. She inquired whether I could take referrals for them - I don't have a private practice though.

Action!

It seems like there's been a lot of decisions to be made that have been up in the air lately for me and K. K likes to mull things over and avoid having to make a decision as long as possible, usually until the decision is somehow made by the act of him not making a decision. This drives me nuts. I like to get things done and plan in advance. We have accomplished a lot today though - he decided on his birthday plans (and, then I took over from there to actually implement them) and we decided on our Christmas plans. We're going to go up to Dallas to see my mom the weekend before Christmas then come back and spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day here. I am really looking forward to spending the holidays together in our house. I have to work on Wednesday and Thursday unfortunately, but I am going to take off on Friday so that we can go to Ohio for the weekend. A good compromise for all, I think. We'll be back to spend NY Eve here (again, I have to work that day) and are toying with the idea of having a fiesta at our place. "We'll see," K's famous last words.

In other news, I had a relatively good workout last night. We did a 10-minute warm-up, 24-minute fartlek (30 seconds hard, 90 seconds recovery), 10-minute cooldown = Fartlek 44. Our coach had us drive over to Zilker and do our warm-up/cooldown over there rather than having to run to/from the Annex. I approved of that. :)

After the workout, we met Phillip and Kellie for dinner/happy hour at Zax. Good food, good company. I miss the P*Dipps happy hours after workouts.

Big Sur is currently 45% full. I think we're going to wait to register until it gets closer to 70%, just to make sure that things are going okay with training.

Sunday in Austin...

We had a great Austin Sunday today. After church, we stumbled into the "Gospel Brunch" at Stubb's. Now, I am not somebody who generally likes brunch - I like my breakfast food at breakfast and my lunch food at lunchtime, but this was a buffet brunch not to be missed - brisket, sausage, chicken, fried catfish, biscuits and gravy, potatoes, and other yummy goodness. It was fantastic! We got to hear some good gospel music too from a live band while we ate. I highly recommend it, and we'll definitely go back.

Afterwards, we went to the Travis Heights Art Trail, a tour through several Travis Heights homes/galleries of neighborhood artists showcasing their goods. We saw lots of interesting sculptures, photographs, paintings, ceramics, glass, etc. And, of course, it was neat to see some of the other houses in the area. We also got a great photo taken of us in a home-made "photo booth." I already have it framed and on display in the house.

Tonight, we went to see the state Christmas tree in front of the Capitol.
Speaking of Christmas trees, we got ours yesterday and decorated it last night (while K watched football, of course).
(And, note that I am wearing a tank-top on December 2nd. It was HOT today! I know last weekend I was complaining about the cold, but let's settle on somewhere in between!)

Things change...

So, I'm sitting here alone at home on Friday night after just having had my comfort meal of sushi, cheese, and bread for dinner. I was supposed to be with K at the happy hour (that I suggested he organize) with his co-workers. But, I am not. Why don't things work out the way that I want them to? Oh, that's right, because there is another person involved, namely K. I'm struggling with the issue of control in our relationship right now.

I had a good massage this afternoon. It really wore me out, so much so that I took quite a long nap earlier this evening. But, the positive was that she did notice some improvement compared to last week, although things are still obviously somewhat tight. She also worked on my upper legs today some, which she didn't do last week. I scheduled another appointment for next Friday, but might have to reschedule for later in the month due to $$.

I got some more Christmas shopping done this afternoon for K and our parents. It was nice not to have deal with the typical crowds since I went on a Friday afternoon. We are "supposed" to get our Christmas tree tomorrow. I just saw some at HEB...who knew they were that expensive?? I can't wait to see all the houses in Travis Heights lit up for the holidays...a few are already decorated.

Tomorrow's "long" run is 8-miles on the Scenic Route - I don't think the beginners will even really get to the hills though only running 8 miles. My already sore legs will be grateful, I think.

3 days in a row...

Can it be? 3 days in a row of relatively good runs???

I met Sadie tonight and we ran the 4-mile loop on the trail. We had a good run! I think I ran slightly faster than I probably would have on my own, which is good since I pushed my "easy" pace a bit. We managed a respectable pace while able to maintain a conversation. We talked about her upcoming wedding and wedding planning in general, wink wink. The miles went by relatively quickly and easily with the good company. No significant shin pain again tonight. I stretched when we stopped to get water at the Rock, but other than that no stopping at all. Yippee!

Tomorrow should be a good day...it's jeans day after all. I'll be in the office until shortly before noon when I have an off-site meeting. Then, I have my sports massage. I'm curious to see if she notices any improvement compared to last week. After that, I'm taking the rest of the afternoon off to run errands before meeting K and his co-workers for happy hour. Should be fun!

The good...

If I had written this post an hour ago, I would have been in a much better mood. But, K just informed me that there is still college football on this Saturday (which I was not aware of), so my mood has suddenly deflated. So much for my weekend plans. And, there's a lot to do this weekend, especially with the party here next weekend for my co-workers and Christmas looming a few weeks away as well.

Re-focus on the positive, mel.

Okay, oh yes, the GOOD run that I had tonight. Yes, let's start there. Actually, let's go back to the quality workout last night - the Julia on Barton Hills. I had some shin pain during the 1-mile warmup over to Barton Springs and stopped to stretch once. For the third week in a row, something about doing drills has helped loosen things up and I didn't have any shin pain for the rest of the workout. Go figure. I wish I could isolate which one is the "magic" drill for me to do and I would happily do it before every run! Still following the beginner schedule, my workout consisted of 30-seconds hard followed by 90-seconds recovery for 1-mile UP Barton Hills then running at tempo pace back down. The run back downhill was great, and it reminded me of why I want to run St. George! I ran back to the Annex by myself, feeling good about the workout. Then, tonight I ran my regular 3.5 mile neighborhood loop and had a GREAT run in all aspects. It must have been my new shirt that I just got from One More Mile that says "In my dreams I am a Kenyan." I love it! Virtually no pain whatsoever tonight. I stopped to stretch while waiting at a stoplight and walked one hill on Monroe (mostly out of habit), but otherwise cruised the whole way at a nice clip. I think K was even a little surprised that I finished when I did. I really, really needed this. I feel hopeful (for the moment at least).

And, there's also something good that is happening with me and K right now. Talking, in specifics, about our future together.

At my wit's end...

I am at my wit's end with my running issues. Please tell me what more should I be doing to get this resolved?? I was considering canceling my ART appointment today, mostly because I don't have $100 bucks to fork over this week for the massage and ART. But, I am really trying to make this a priority, so I went (for the 20 something time now, I've lost count). I can't hide my frustration and disappointment from the doc while I'm there. I know he wants me to feel better too though. He did ART on the front inside of my lower legs, then really worked on my calves - just like the massage therapist said, they are incredibly tight and knotted up really deep down. We finished off with anodyne more so on my calf muscles than the tendons today. The assistant messed up on the timing so I only went through half of the time that I was supposed to. It was 5:45 by that point and I was losing daylight to run so I didn't correct her.

As you might have guessed, I had another crappy run. It started off great for the 1st half mile or so, but then I had to stop to stretch because my shins were getting tight. I can't continue on like this! Every run cannot be painful! I am convinced that stopping running altogether is not the answer - I did that at the end of the summer with no improvement except to get heavier and slower. My mileage per week hasn't been high at all, so it's not like I have ramped up too quickly. I don't know what to do.

In other news, K is flying over Louisiana right now. His flight was delayed about an hour, but I am just glad that he is finally in the air on his way home. Kellie just shared a quote with me that I really liked: "Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great." All that "absence makes the heart grow fonder" crap is just that, crap. My heart is already quite fond, thank you very much. I want my buddy back home!

K and I would probably kill each other...

Amazing Race Casting Call

	Amazing Race Application Form (50.6KB) (wow, check out the 13-page application - I think just answering the questions with K would be an interesting conversation)
	Amazing Race Rules (43.0KB)

Think you have what it takes to win The Amazing Race? CBS 42 is giving you a chance to chase your dream during an open casting call right here in Central Texas. It happens Fri. Nov. 30 from 2-6 p.m. at the Hill Country Galleria Amphitheatre, 12700 Hill Country Blvd. in Bee Cave. That's across from The Backyard, at Hwy 71 and RR 620. Hill Country Galleria.com Here's how it works. We will tape a three minute segment of your team. Make a case of why you would be perfect for this race. CBS 42 then sends the tape to the Amazing Race producers. Get there early because the taping will happen on a first come, first serve basis. Please fill out the application form above and bring it with you.

Day 3 (of 4) without K...

K will be home tomorrow evening, and I am counting on being busy at work, going to ART, and running to get me through the day until I pick him up from the airport. I knew that it was going to be hard for me while he was gone and it has been. I miss him terribly. I haven't had to watch football at all in the past 3 days...I know that should be the bright side of this, but the house has felt quiet and empty without him yelling at the tv(s) watching sports.

My best friend chided me last night to enjoy having this time to myself since I don't really get that very often. The thing is that I am somebody who normally needs an enormous amount of "me time," that is until I met K. Somehow that all changed then. I used to think that I would never be able to live with somebody since I have lived alone (with the exception of my senior year in college) since I was 19. That's a lot of time to get set in my ways and enjoy my privacy. Even then, I had a hard time relating to people who complained of loneliness. I cherished my alone time and sought out the company of others when I wanted it - on my terms. Even now, I haven't necessarily felt "lonely" since K has been gone, and I know that there are people that I could easily have made plans with if I had chosen to. I just really miss my buddy.

I tried to do what I would have done pre-K today. I went to Target for a couple of errands then ventured over to the mall and trolled for a parking spot so that I could get a special ornament made to commemorate our first Christmas in the 'lil blue house together this year. Then, I went to the gym and had a good workout - 45 minutes of weights and 30 minutes on the elliptical. Now, I need to do a few things around the house and get ready for tomorrow...when my buddy comes home and all is right with my world again.

Race t-shirt etiquette...

My brother just sent me this link to a funny post about race t-shirt etiquette. Enjoy!

The names change...

I have just spent the past 3 hours addressing, sealing, stamping 60+ Christmas cards for us. Whew! I'm still waiting on just a few more addresses, but I am glad that the bulk of it is done.

As I was going through all the addresses in my Palm Pilot, I was struck by how different my Christmas card list is this year compared to 2 years ago, 5 years ago, 10 years ago, etc. People come and go in your life for so many different purposes. It's interesting to realize how many people who you were once close to because you went to the same school, worked at the same place, or lived in the same city aren't really there in the same way anymore once situations change. I still carry a bit of each one of them with me though.

To say that Rogue has changed my life would be an understatement. It brought me K...enough said. It has also brought me new friends who I probably would not have met otherwise and who I can't really imagine my life without right now.

I wonder what next year's list will look like.

No more guilt...

So, I spent much of the day engaging in option D from my previous post...and feeling guilty about it. I kept talking myself into and out of running or going to the gym. Finally, around 4pm, I sucked it up, got bundled up, and went for a run (temp in the low 40's and wind chill in the low 30's). I ran to the trail and then ran the 4-mile loop from I-35 to Lamar then (uphill) back home. Still not a great run, but now I sure am glad that I did it. Go mel!

Rain, rain go away...

No big surprise that I didn't get up this morning for the 7am long run. Actually, I got up at 6 and appraised the weather situation. I heard the pitter patter of the rain, so I went back to sleep. Cold and rainy is not good motivation for me to get out of the warm bed at that hour. The rain doesn't seem to be coming down hard (I take that back because it just started raining much harder with thunder), so I probably should still try to get my run in at some point. I know, a little rain isn't going to kill me. I've generally always had good runs in the rain, so I'm not sure what I'm making such a big deal about.

Other options - (a) go run on the treadmill at the gym, but I hate running on the treadmill - I feel like the treadmill is running me not the other way around, (b) go up to the gym by my old apartment in the Arboretum because they have a small indoor track (10 laps = 1 mile though), (c) wait to see if the weather improves later today or tomorrow (but the weather forecast doesn't look favorable for that), or (d) my personal favorite - stay in, wrap up in a blanket on the couch, watch a movie, and gorge on Thanksgiving leftovers.

Also, have I mentioned that I miss K?

Our medals...

Here's the follow-up from our trip to Anthropologie a few weeks ago:

Thanksgiving recap...

Yesterday was our 1st Thanksgiving together in the 'lil blue house. It was really nice not to have to travel and to spend the day at our place.

We were registered to run the Turkey Trot, but were ambivalent about getting up and going since it was COLD. We didn't roll out of bed until 8:45 (race started at 9:30). We managed to leave here at 9 and then had to find an alternate route there since I-35 was closed due to a really bad accident earlier. Since we got there so late, we weren't able to find a good parking spot and ended up parking close to the 4-mile marker. As we were walking to the start just a few minutes before the race was to start, I decided that I wasn't going to run - yes, I wussed out. It was cold and I didn't have enough layers on my upper body, I wasn't going to get to the start line in time unless I ran, and I wasn't sure how sore my legs would feel the day after my massage. So, I went back to the (warm) car and waited for the runners to come by then got out to cheer them on - I saw K and Holly among others. I'm okay about not running.

After the race, we got back home in time to help my mom get everything finished for the Thanksgiving feast. Everything was yummy, and we have so many leftovers! Thank goodness that I heart turkey. I took a looong nap after lunch and spent the rest of the evening relaxing at home with K.

I took K to the airport early this morning for his trip to Ohio then came home and went back to sleep. I went for a run on my 3.5 mile neighborhood loop before lunch and actually had a decent run. I had some mild shin pain during the 1st 2 miles, but nothing too bad. It's amazing how much the temperature/humidity can affect running - I know my cardio still sucks, but somehow it felt *slightly* easier in the cooler weather today. I enjoyed an afternoon of doing nothing back at home afterwards. I've already done a lot of my holiday shopping, I don't have any extra spending money right now, and I really didn't want the hassle of dealing with people so I didn't even attempt to hit the stores today for the post-Thanksgiving sales.

My brother is visiting from Atlanta and he has been out and about on his own much of the time since yesterday afternoon. I took advantage of K being gone to have sushi for dinner, so my brother and I went to Maiko tonight. YUM, that's all I can say about it.

I haven't quite decided about whether I am going to get up and go to the long run tomorrow morning or do it on my own later in the day (when it is hopefully warmer and after I have slept in). But, I don't think the weather is really going to be that great at any point tomorrow, so it might be better to go ahead and get it over with in the morning. The route is St. Ed's - beginners are running 6 miles. A 6-mile "long" run, I know.

I have to take my brother to the airport tomorrow late morning, so I will have the rest of the weekend to myself. I don't have anything planned (other than doing our Christmas cards) and I am looking forward to exactly that...relaxing and doing nothing.

I do miss my buddy though.

Reality cont.

Given my frustration with the inconsistent progress that I have had with ART so far, I decided to try a sports massage. So, today I went for my 1st one (ever - yes, I don't know how I have gotten this far without one so far - well, yes, I do...it's because I'm too cheap - and, yes, perhaps if I had been doing this regularly for "maintenance" then my problems would never have gotten to the point where they are at now).

The massage therapist seemed extremely knowledgeable and everything was focused on the pain that I have been experiencing while running rather than just a general massage to feel good. In a nutshell, my lower legs are a mess. She was extremely concerned about several adhesions that seem on the way to becoming scar tissue. While today was a good start, there's still a lot of work that needs to be done. She said that continuing the ART won't hurt anything (except my wallet), but she did recommend further massage sessions to focus more intensely and for a longer duration on the problem areas (which seems to be just about everywhere on the lower legs). She also offered some other suggestions for things to do, such as strengthening my hip flexors to lift my knees higher for better form, icing my legs after I run, stretches for my calves and shins, as well as reminding me about things that I already do and/or know about (e.g., the ban on wearing heels).

I feel so desperate to latch onto anything right now that will offer me hope of getting this problem resolved. This deterioration in my running really affects my daily life, notably my mood (K will attest to that). We're running the Turkey Trot tomorrow morning. I opted to save a few bucks (and some of my pride) and run in the untimed division. The only goal right now is the same as it has been each time I lace up my shoes lately - to have a good, comfortable, pain-free run. I deserve that.

My mom and brother both arrived today to spend Thanksgiving with us. While it is certainly nice having them here, the reality also is that it reminds me how much I love our space. K has been a VGB (very good boy) today and he took my mom for lunch at HomeSlice once she got here since I didn't get off work until a couple of hours later. I'm going to miss him when he's in Ohio Friday-Monday. I don't do "apart" very well.

Reality...

Last night was the dreaded 2-mile time trial in Week 2 of the Spring Marathon program to gauge our current fitness. I already knew where I was going into it, and I really didn't need a number to quantify it. But, I am coming to peace with it (not THAT at peace though yet because I'm not posting my time). Let's just say that mile 1 was slow and mile 2 was SLOWER. I walked during mile 2. Yes, I walked. Thank goodness it was dark on the track and there were lots of people there, so maybe I didn't look quite as conspicuous.

After the workout, K and I went over to Zax for dinner, just like the P*Dipps used to do. It was nice. We split a yummy jerk salmon caesar salad and pizza - delicious!

Our entertainment during dinner was listening to a new hotshot on the Austin racing scene spouting his mouth off about all his successes. No humility whatsoever. It was disgusting. I told K that his new goal is now to beat this guy. Smackdown! :)

Consistency...

That's what I need...with K and with running.

I'm losing faith in ART. I've had many, many sessions now and the progress has been inconsistent. I guess I'm sticking with it because it has been helpful in the past and I don't really know what else to do. I think this is the point in therapy when my patients just drop out - the middle phase.

I'm so, so frustrated with everything.

How I got here...

(Response to an email from my coach checking in about how things are going with everyone, personal goals, etc.):

Hi Ken.

This will probably be more info than you wanted, but here goes...

I ran about 6 miles on my own on the trail on Saturday morning. It wasn't a very good run. I had shin pain for the 1st 1-2 miles, so I had to stop several times to stretch. That helped and the rest of the run was pain-free. I had stomach issues though after that and had to take a detour over to Barton Springs to go to the bathroom. And, my cardio just sucks right now. So, it was another bad run in a string of bad runs lately.

Since we ran the half-marathon in San Antonio last Sunday, my mileage for last week was 30 miles. I think I'm going to follow the beginner schedule right now since (a) I'm scared of pushing too hard since my lower leg pain hasn't gone away completely, and (b) I'm terribly out of shape compared to where I used to be.

My running history - I started running with my 1st 5k in Nov. 2004 and then ran the Freescale half-marathon in February a few months later. I joined Rogue in May, 2005 and started training for Chicago, but I got injured (bone stress injury in right tibia) and I was out for 3 months. I diligently cross-trained during that time to develop my fitness. I started training again in September, 2005 for Freescale and ran a 4:08 in my 1st marathon last year (2006). I then went through the 5k/10k PR class and saw huge gains in speed - my 5k and 10k PR's came last Spring (5k 22:59 and 10k 50:23). At that point, qualifying for Boston seemed like it was within the realm of possibility if I trained hard enough (my 2-mile time-trial last May was 14:06). So, I trained for Chicago again last summer with a goal of qualifying there, but I got sick the week of the race and had a horrible race (I probably shouldn't have even run). With the disappointment of that race, I immediately jumped into the Performance Project with Mac last November to train for AT&T. But, mentally, I needed a break after training so intensely for 1+ years, so I stopped training right before Xmas and ran minimally in January and February of this year. I started training again with Mac's Performance Project for the 5k/10k PR class in the Spring and regained some speed (5k 23:26 in April). Mentally, I felt like I was ready to take on marathon training again and joined Ruth's Boston Qualifier Fall Marathon group with intent to run Columbus in October. But, I had been dealing with shin splints intermittently all year and they seemed to get worse, to the point where I just stopped running completely in July and August. I've been going 2x a week since September for ART with some improvement. But, I've also lost a lot of fitness over the past 4-6 months, which brings me to where I am now.

My only goal right now is to get to the start line of a Spring Marathon, probably Big Sur or possibly Flying Pig. I'm not focused on a specific time goal right now - I just want to get healthy, get back into good running shape, and then re-focus on a BQ later.

Hope this helps! Thanks for asking.

Melissa

For the boy who LOVES sports...

What do you get the boy you love who LOVES sports?

Well, for his birthday:
Toronto Maple Leafs at Atlanta Thrashers on Friday, 12/14
Charlotte Bobcats at Atlanta Hawks on Saturday, 12/15

And, for Christmas:
NCAA Basketball 2008 South Regional on 03/28-30

(Yes, he already knows about all this, so I'm not ruining the surprise by posting this).

Plans...

It's been a short week since I was off on Monday for Veteran's Day, but I'm still so glad that it is Friday! I had my first turkey and associated Thanksgiving foods at our Department Thanksgiving luncheon today. Now, I need a nap.

I ran an easy 4-miles on TLT last night (instead of the 6 or 7 mile fartlek that the intermediate and advanced runners were scheduled to do). No shin pain, but my left calf was really tight and causing me some problems while I ran. As a result, I'm going to give sports massage a try (in addition to ART) because I think my tight calves are one of the underlying problems that causes some of my other problems if not properly addressed. So, I have an appointment on Wednesday afternoon. The long run tomorrow morning is 6, 7, or 10 (depending on level) on TLT. I'm going to see how my legs feel, but I will be alright if I only run 6. That will still put my mileage for week 1 at 30 miles, which is a good start. And, you have to start again somewhere...

I think this is interesting and I'm not sure what to make of it. The marathon at Big Sur is 37% full (limited to 4,500), while the 21-miler has already sold out (race is April 27, 2008).

We don't have any set plans for this weekend, which is kind of nice since it seems like the next month will be hectic (but good). We finally made plans last night for a trip to Atlanta for my brother's college graduation and K's birthday celebration in a few weeks. I had hoped to go to ATL for the graduation then fly out from there to somewhere else, like NYC or DC, for the weekend, but we couldn't get the flight schedule to work out and there's nowhere cool within easy driving distance. So, we'll spend 4 days in ATL instead.

The holidays are here!

So, as you know from my post last week, the holidays have been a sensitive topic with me and K recently. That aside, I love the holidays! But, who doesn't? I just wish that it would finally get cooler and STAY cooler to really get people in the mood for the holidays.

My mom is driving down from Dallas next Wednesday morning and my brother is flying in from Atlanta that afternoon. My mom has been to the house already, but my brother hasn't. I'm excited to have them here with us. My mom will cook all the Thanksgiving goodness (since I obviously can't). K and I are thinking about running the Turkey Trot that morning. My mom has to get back to work on Friday, so she'll head back on Thursday afternoon while my brother will stay until Saturday. K is flying out to Ohio on Friday and won't be back until Monday night. This will be the 1st time we have been apart since I went to Illinois for work back in January. Christmas plans have not been decided yet...

I can't wait to decorate for Christmas. This will be our 1st year in a house together, so we're going to get a tree. My mom has been busy getting decorations for us. I can't wait to see what she's gotten. Since K will be gone for Thanksgiving weekend, then we'll probably get the tree the following weekend. And, then the Xmas party for my staff that I can't believe I offered to host is the next weekend, so things will be busy getting ready for that.

We've already gotten our Xmas cards printed for this year. A lucky few are getting special ones from "Big K Designs."

And, then of course there's the gift-giving. I love giving gifts, so I've been busy this week trying to gather Xmas lists from everyone. I've already started shopping for K's presents. His birthday is the week before Xmas so he gets double the gifts. It's so much fun though!

Beginners still cross the finish line...

I had ART after work today. No significant pain today - it was the good kind of hurt. Finished the session with anodyne on my tendons again. Next session is on Monday. I told the doc that I have "officially" started marathon training again. My only goal is to get to the start line this time. And, that's what I reminded myself during my run afterwards. I got a late start after ART, so it was nearly dark by the time I got to the trail. Beginners were supposed to run 3 miles today, intermediates 6, and advanced 7. I really set out to run 6, but then decided to cut it short at 3 because there's no need to push it this 1st week, especially when my running health is still somewhat precarious. After all, beginners cross the finish line too...

Getting back to mel...

Today was a reminder of a time when my days were filled with things that I enjoy.

For the first time in many, many months, I actually got to see a kid at work. It was nice to use those clinical muscles that haven't been used in so long. I am good at what I do. And, I miss it terribly. It's not that anybody is telling me that I can't see kids at work - it's just a matter of figuring out how to fit it in with everything else that my position demands. I'm going to try to work on that...

And, tonight was the 1st quality workout of the Spring Marathon program. I have to admit that I was excited and a bit nervous at the same time. Our group consists of all levels (beginner, intermediate, and advanced) since it is relatively small for those training for Paris, London, or any other marathon in April. I met our coach, Ken Young, who seems like a really nice guy. It's actually kind of nice to have a coach who doesn't know me (and my running demise) so he doesn't have any expectations for me. And, my sole expectation for myself is to get to the start line at Big Sur or whatever marathon that K and I settle on. This program is about getting me back into marathon shape, enjoying running, and being part of the Rogue community again. It is NOT about trying to BQ or achieve a specific time goal. That will be the next step after this one...but not now. This is no pressure running, as I am calling it.

But, you put a stopwatch on and are told to run 2 1-mile repeats at a "comfortably hard" pace and it does bring out those personal expectations that I am trying to let go of for now. We ran the 1-mile loop over at Zilker (down the hill on the backside, thankfully). Since when did a 8:31 mile and 8:41 mile feel that hard???? Oh, since I've gained XX pounds and haven't ran fast in months, that's when. For better or worse, I'm one of the faster girls in the group (but remember that's not saying a lot right now).

I had some tightness in my shins during the 1-mile warmup over to Zilker and had to stop to stretch briefly. Thankfully, the pain went away during drills before the workout, so I was pain-free from that point on. K and I ran together back to the Annex on the roads rather than via the trail since it was so dark. We never run together, so that was nice.

I had ART yesterday morning - ART followed by anodyne on my tendons. I have another session tomorrow afternoon. At this rate, I really am going to max out my insurance benefits for the remainder of the year.

Oh, and K and I seem to have resolved some of the issues that we've been dealing with for the past week or so. So, things are better on that front too.

A challenge...

The past few days haven't been easy. Thanks for the kind words that some shared. It was much appreciated and needed.

K and I are still working through the fallout from the holiday planning, particularly within the context of the larger issues at play here. It wasn't easy to go to San Antonio with him this weekend and try to act as if I'm fine since we were around our friends.

We went down to SA early yesterday afternoon so that we could pick up our packets from the Expo and get to Gabby's in time for him to watch the Ohio State game that afternoon. Ohio State lost, so as you can imagine it was not a pleasant afternoon. The stomach issues started then - possibly from lunch at EZ's, possibly emotionally based because I knew how much he would be angry and upset if OSU lost. After the game, we all went out for dinner to a really good Italian restaurant (Little Italy). It was very good - I had beef tortellini. But, my tummy really started acting up then. I didn't have a good night's sleep.

5:30 am came early, although we were both sleeping restlessly. Holly called at 5:50 or so - she had driven down from Austin and was already at the start. She's Holly, so of course she was already there before we had even left! K and I got down there and parked at the Alamodome about 6:30 then made the trek over to the Alamo where the race started. Note to race organizers - get a shuttle to transport the runners from the finish to the start 'cause they're about to run 13.1 or 26.2 miles and don't really need that extra 10-15 minute walk beforehand. I'm just saying...

I met up with Holly at the race start and it was funny how relaxed we were both approaching this whole thing compared to how anal we'd both be if this was a marathon or a key race. We heard a cannon go off and I just thought it was ceremonial (like a flyover or something), but it turned out to be the signal to start. Oh, guess we better jump into the start corral! And, off we went.

Today's run was the opposite of my great run in Columbus a few weeks ago. It was very, very warm (it's November in Texas!). I knew within the 1st half mile that my shin pain was not going to go quietly today. I think at that point I knew that it was going to be a long 13.1 miles. I stopped to stretch several times within the first 4 miles and fortunately the pain abated at that point. But, my tummy issues were not going away. I stopped to go to the bathroom at mile 4 - a 10 minute stop, mostly waiting in line for 1 of 2 port-a-potties. Even with all my stopping to stretch, I had managed to make it to mile 4 at about 40 minutes or so. But, I didn't leave that point until 50+ minutes into the race. By then, I was surrounded with a lot of slower folks. I had another (quicker) bathroom stop at mile 7, but my stomach just never seemed to settle down. I was also worried about getting water-logged since it was so warm and I was trying to drink a lot.

There was a never-ending out and back stretch for a couple of miles soon thereafter. That just sucked. I kept looking for Holly and Rob to be coming back in and I finally saw Holly - she assured me that it really does turn around. It was a rough run today, mentally and physically. So far off my PR too. 2007 is turning out to be the year of my PW (personal worst). The race finished inside of the Alamodome, which was pretty cool. I was just glad to be done with that horrible run at that point.

K had a pretty good run, despite GI issues too. I'm proud of him.
*Update - he got 4th in his age group (based on chip time)!*

I have ART tomorrow morning. During my session last Thursday, my "spot" really does seem to be moving down to a very small area on my ankle, particularly on my right leg. It really does seem like progress (despite the reemergence of the pain early during today's run). The doc opted to do ultrasound on my legs instead of anodyne treatment because he felt like that would be better for that area. We'll see how things feel when he works on me tomorrow...

Bracing for a difficult day...

It's 8:30am. I've been in my office for 15 minutes and I have already been stopped by people needing something BEFORE I even made it into the building and returning phone calls and emails from others who have something "urgent" that I need to attend to. Today is likely going to be a difficult day...I have prominent visitors coming to observe a meeting that I conduct this morning and then I have a meeting with my staff where it will likely be full of problems and few solutions offered. Oh, and then (stop - the phone just rang) add the lack of sleep that I got last night after the big fight that K and I had and it adds up to a very promising day!

For the 2nd year in a row, K and I do not have a mutually-agreed upon plan for the holidays. He/we apparently cannot compromise. And, I end up being the one who gets screwed (as usual). I am very angry and hurt right now (and I am not taking this post down!).

ART, Session 14

Wow. Session 14, really? I guess I am going to max out my insurance benefits to get my full 30 visits this year!

I had another good session of ART today. The doc was pleased that I had a pain-free run last night. I came in and proudly said that it was a zero when he greeted me as I walked in; however, he didn't agree with my assessment once he started working on my legs. The pain area does seem to be shrinking - he's been focusing more on the Achilles area, worse on the right as usual. Did anodyne on the tendons again. I told him about the half in SA this weekend - he was excited for me. I'm going back in on Thursday.

After ART, I went to pick up my new shoes at Betty Sport. Fortunately, the girl who helped me last time was there so we got to talk some more about my shoe situation. She thinks that the original Asics might still be a good option for me at some point (at least on paper), despite the blister. But, bottom line is that any shoe other than the Wave Creations is likely to cause me some problems, at least initially. Like I said, I'd rather dance with the devil I know at this point. I can't wait to try them out tomorrow.

I did it...

I applied for the job in Denver this morning.

It doesn't commit us to anything. They may not even be interested in me since I've been out of the medical setting for the past few years. And, if they are, well then at least we'll get a ski trip out of it if I go up to interview.

Back to zero...

That's right, my pain rating was back to zero during my 7-mile run on the trail tonight. I was really hopeful that it would be since I took a few extra days off after the good ART session last Thursday. I did struggle with cardio somewhat though - it seemed slightly warm and humid before the sun finally went down. I ran in an old, old pair of Mizuno's again without difficulty. My new shoes came in today, so I'm going to pick them up tomorrow after ART.

There's a lot of different things going on this weekend that we have been considering...my 10-year reunion at SMU in Dallas, the Skirtchaser 5k, the Run for the Water 10-miler, the first long run of the Spring Marathon training program, opening weekend at some of the CO ski resorts, and the half-marathon in San Antonio. We are opting for the half in SA. I am excited about getting to see Gabby, so that was one of the big selling points for me. A couple other P*Dipps may make the trip down as well, so it has the potential to be a fun time. Regarding the race itself, my approach will be very similar to Columbus - just an easy long run with a break at the water stops. I'm not out there to race it...just to get the miles in. And, a medal and t-shirt are nice too.

After dinner tonight, K and I spent the evening talking about several big topics. It was productive.

Did I really just...

Did I really just email my former internship training director at The Children's Hospital in Denver to get more info about a job posting I just saw? Yes, I did.

Did I really just feel disappointed that she's out of the office and won't be back in until next week to respond to my email? Yes, I did.

Did I really just call K to tell him about it too? Yes, I did.

Did I really just try to get more info online about this position? Yes, I did. I came across this article, which is probably a good overview.

Did I really just consider applying online? Yes, I did.

Did I really just update my CV? Yes, I did.

Must stop. Must come back to reality. K and I love Austin (although I do not appreciate this warm weather in November!). We love our 'lil blue house. Moving sucks. K's job is here.

But, the reality also is that I am not happy in my job. I miss seeing kids.

TCH is a great place. I have a lot of experience working in children's hospitals and it is really what I thought I would be doing after post-doc, but the jobs weren't there in Dallas or Austin. And, they still aren't.

Good weekend...

I won't admit this to K, but I actually had a relatively good weekend (after the stress of Friday passed).

While K watched football on Saturday, I did a little bit of shopping and went to the movies, one of my favorite Saturday afternoon activities. I saw "Dan in Real Life." It was funny and touching. K was wrapping up football watching when I got home after 5, so we went to Torchy's for dinner. We sat outside and enjoyed the weather. Then, we went to Ben & Jerry's for dessert. K got ice cream that tasted like a cinnamon roll! Then, we walked over to check out Anthropologie. I got something for the house - I'll post a picture when it's done in a few weeks. We finished off the night by making photo Christmas cards (hence the launch of "Big K Designs," Katie).

Yesterday, we went to see "American Gangster" in the afternoon. We had both been really looking forward to seeing it. It was a bit too long for K's taste. I would have liked to seen more interaction between Russell Crowe and Denzel Washington since they are such amazing actors. Overall though, it was a pretty good movie.

We finished off the weekend with a partial P*Dipps dinner at Holly's. The food was delicious and the company was excellent too. It was a lovely way to spend a Sunday evening with friends.

RW Quote of the Day...

"The truth is that running hurts."
-Unknown

This made me laugh.

Big K...

Tonight marked the launch of "Big K Designs."

Not so good TGIF...

Yesterday was not a good Friday. I was bummed that my shoes haven't come in, I was disappointed that we aren't going to Dallas this weekend, I was tired because I couldn't fall asleep until after 1am the night before, and I'm sure there's more...

I needed to get my BP checked again to determine whether or not I could continue taking the pill this weekend, so I went back to the doc after work. My BP was through the roof - it was the highest result that I've had. They wanted to wait and check it again in 10 minutes, possibly with me lying down to see if the position made a difference. However, I had pretty much decided at that point regardless of whether I had a lower reading the 2nd time that I wasn't going to continue taking the pill - it's not worth taking that chance. 2nd result was high as well. So, the nurse gave me some info on another type of birth control pill (progestin only) and the Depo shot. She left me to wait in a room reading the info sheets by myself until she could talk to me further. I did not like what I saw and walked out of the room, not ready to commit to something else so quickly. I wanted to talk to K. She ushered me back into the room and encouraged me to listen to her go over things. She seemed convinced that the progestin only pill would be a good alternative for me to try since it doesn't have estrogen, which is the hormone that is contraindicated for high-blood pressure. We briefly discussed the Depo shot, but one of the side effects of that is bone thinning, which probably isn't the best for running. She also indicated that she hesitates to prescribe that for women in their 30's because it takes 6-9 months after stopping it to become pregnant. Not that K and I are ready for that now or in the immediate future, but it was a concern. So, we opted for the alternate form of the pill, with continued monitoring of my BP to see if it drops, which we obviously hope it will. I thought it was funny when she asked if I have been going through a particularly stressful time lately, considering that might be the culprit for the sudden increase in BP recently. Um, yes, you could say that I have.

So, I left feeling overwhelmed and concerned. I tried calling K repeatedly before I had an emotional meltdown, but he wasn't answering his phone. I had previously told him that I was considering going to get my nails done after I got my BP checked if I got the all clear. However, I realized that I really should have said the opposite since I needed something to make me feel better at the moment. And, let me tell you that was the best $7.00 that I have ever spent! I have always been fortunate to have nice long nails, and I always paint them myself. My nails are actually a good indication of my stress level since I don't seem to have time or energy to do them when I am super busy or stressed. I have a difficult time justifying paying someone to do my nails when I can easily do a pretty good job by myself, especially when money is one of my stressors lately. But, yesterday, I needed someone to do something for me at that moment, so I stopped and got a french manicure on my way home. It was just what I needed.

We had sushi for dinner at Umi with K's old roommate and his girlfriend who was visiting from Singapore. It was pretty good. I still think Maiko is one of my favorite sushi restaurants in the area though. I was pretty exhausted from the day and the week (as usual, as K would say), so
I pretty much crashed immediately after we got home. I needed the good night's sleep that I got.

I got up a little before 8 this morning, but decided not to run. I wanted to watch the web broadcast of the Men's Olympic Trials in Central Park, and I'm glad I did because it was inspiring. Ryan Hall made it look so effortless all the way into the finish. He had a really amazing performance.

So, today is college football Saturday, K's day. I'm going to try to not be around.

The shoe saga continues...

I just called Betty Sport and my shoes won't be in until the middle of next week.

Poopie.

ART, Session 13...

When I walked into the doctor's office this afternoon, my doc was at the receptionist's desk and asked me how I was. "Okay," I replied. Better, but not gone. He jokingly said that I just like coming in. I laughed and said he was right. Then, seriously, I told him I wish that I could say it's 100% better. Supportively, he said he knew.

I started out using the TP equipment as usual. The doc was pretty much ready for me when I got there, so we quickly got started with the ART. Interestingly, I didn't have much pain in the inside lower part of my legs where I usually do. As he moved his way down "following the pain," he ended up working more on the area near my tendons. Now, *that* I felt. So, after we worked on that area from the front, I flipped over and he worked on that area on the back of my legs as well. I also did the anodyne treatment on that area of my legs, but for half the time that I usually do since there is less tissue there. I am hopeful that working on this area will really help. I seemed to notice a difference afterwards just walking around. So, fingers are crossed.

I'm hoping that my shoes will come in tomorrow so that I can go for a run in them tomorrow evening and/or Saturday morning.

Oh, and, we're not going to Dallas this weekend after all.

What was I thinking?

I just offered to host a holiday party for my staff at our house next month.

That means we have to clean, decorate, do something with our yard and flower beds, cook, buy stuff, etc.

I'm overwhelmed just thinking about it.

Happy Halloween!

Halloween is typically one of my favorite holidays. And, this year I was especially looking forward to passing out candy to the trick-o-treaters with K. It seemed like a particularly domestic thing to do.

So, I went for a short run immediately after work so that I could get home and shower prior to sunset. I ran the 3.5 mile Congress loop from the house again, this time in an old pair of Mizuno's. It wasn't pain-free, but the pain was only relatively mild this time. The negative thoughts turned out to be the biggest obstacle (coupled with the hills) during today's run. "It's not supposed to be this hard."

The first trick-o-treaters came by while we were eating around 6:30. K said, "We have trick-o-treaters. What do I do?" It was cute. We had an enjoyable evening passing out candy to the kids while trying to also watch television. One particular funny moment occurred when K commented on a young boy's costume and asked him if he had scared any of the young girls yet. As he was walking away, the boy said, "I'm just a little kid dressed up." It was precious. We ran out of candy around 8:30, so had to turn out the porch light then.

It was our 1st Halloween living together in a house.

Doc...

I always find it interesting how others address me at work - some refer to me by my first name, others use my title, and some just say "Hey, Doc" (actually that is also how K greets me when he calls me at work).

I also think it is interesting how this might vary from how they address other professionals - does it vary by gender, by age? As a relatively young female, I think that comes into play when others view me, regardless of my credentials and experience.

Update...

I haven't posted much since Saturday because I've been in a pretty crappy mood for a variety of reasons. I know there is a hormonal element to the moodiness this week, but there are still very real stressors that I am dealing with. And, when my primary support system (K) is on the fritz, then things get even harder for me to deal with.

After the abbreviated painful run on Sunday, I wasn't in the best of moods. But, we went to the Rogue Halloween festivities to meet friends and support a good cause. Apparently they did too good a job transforming the Annex into a Haunted House and traumatized a few children in the process. If I was still in private practice, I could have started handing out business cards to the parents as the kids came out of the Haunted House! :)

We went to dinner at Homeslice with Holly and Chris afterwards. I always enjoy spending time with Holly, so this was one of the highlights of the weekend.

Yesterday was another frustrating and stressful day at work. Coupled with the bad weekend runs, I wasn't in the best mood when I went to the doc for ART yesterday. I started out using the TP equipment as usual while the doc finished up with another patient. While I was doing that, an "assistant" came over to check on me and see how things were going - um, not good. Then, I felt like he started to overstep his bounds by asking me a ton of questions to get the lowdown on my injury and running history, etc. Um, I've been through all this already. I really didn't appreciate him butting in offering advice when (a) I already knew much of what he was telling me, and (b) my doc knows my treatment and what we've been working on. He was trying to get me to do some excercise for my glutes - hello, the problem is my lower legs not my glutes, buddy. I didn't buy into it and refused to do it. I guess you could say I was being a difficult patient yesterday. My doc was eyeing us the whole time that the other guy was talking to me - like what the heck is he doing with my patient? So, when my doc finally came over to rescue me, he was just as disappointed and frustrated as I was about the reemergence of the pain over the weekend. I explained about the shoe issues (new style of neutral shoes on Saturday and old worn-out Mizuno's on Sunday). Same treatment regimen - ART followed by anodyne on both legs. Next session is on Thursday.

Hopeful, I went for a short run when I got home from the doctor yesterday. I ran the 3.5 mile Congress loop from the house. I gave the new Saucony's another shot, but I don't think they are the miracle shoe that I am hoping for. I had to stop and stretch about a mile in - K happened to come running by shortly after I stopped. I continued on and stopped to stretch 1 or 2 more times after that. The pain was mild to moderate, and it seemed to get better toward the end of the run again (similar to Saturday's run). I'm eager for my Wave Creations to come in at BettySport - they will be the new version (VIII), which I haven't run in yet. At some point, I'd rather dance with the devil I know, I guess.

I didn't run tonight. I figured I'd take the day off and try again tomorrow with fresh legs. If it's pain-free, then there is a half-marathon in Dallas that we may go up for this weekend. Stay tuned.

I finally went back to get my BP checked today. Still significantly higher than it was a year ago, but slightly less than when I originally had it checked last month. I'm going to go back in to have it checked again either Thursday or Friday - if it's comparable to today, then I will be able to continue taking the pill. I have mixed feelings about that.

I wanted comfort food for dinner tonight, so we went to Threadgill's. Mac and cheese, yum. I finally broke down and opened the Halloween candy that has been staring at us for weeks now. I'm proud that I held out for this long! It's chocolate after all!

So frustrating...

I set out to run the 7 mile loop on the trail, but had to cut it short at Congress because I was hurting again. I wanted to cry. I still do.

Just another Saturday...

We didn't get up early to run this morning. Sleep just felt too good. And, with the arrival of the cooler weather, it's not as critical to get a run in during the morning anymore since the temps in the afternoon are just as nice (at least that is how I rationalized it this morning).

We did get up about 8:30 though to go to Sadie's birthday breakfast, which it turned out that the birthday girl wasn't even able to go to because she was sick. Happy birthday, Sadie! And, feel better soon. (You were right, the muffins were terrific!). We were able to catch up with some of our runner friends though and hear stories of their recent marathons and training.

After breakfast, we went over to BettySport so that I could exchange my shoes. It turned out to be more difficult than I had hoped. I had 2 salesgirls help me, tried on many different shoes, and left with a neutral Saucony shoe (similar to my Wave Creations). The plan is to run in these for a few days and then go back in to compare them to the new Wave Creations that they ordered for me when they arrive. The service that I received there was exceptional.

The afternoon was pretty uneventful. It is college football Saturday after all...

I finally went for a short run early this evening. I ran the 3.5 mile Congress loop from the house. And, my friend was back...shin splints during the first 2 miles. I had to stop and stretch a couple of times, but the pain seemed to diminish somewhat toward the end of the run. There's so many variables that it is hard to figure out what is going on. I haven't ran since last Sunday. I haven't had ART since Monday. It could be the shoes. I don't know! It's so frustrating though. I think I'm going to try to do a 7 or 10 mile run (in my old Mizuno's) tomorrow morning.

I went to pick up burgers from Hut's for dinner after we ran. YUM.

Ohio State is playing tonight. So, that's our Saturday night entertainment.

Gotta love Saturdays in the fall!

That crazy running thing we do...

I really wasn't kidding when I said I tore up my foot with the new shoes on Sunday. I told K earlier that it looks like a burn - it's now a medium size distinctly red patch on the inside of my left foot. Pus or some kind of fluid has oozed out occasionally, and it seems like there's still a little more fluid in there.

I was really looking forward to doing a short, easy run today in this cooler weather, especially when I found out that Sadie, who has been dealing with her own injury issues over the past couple of months, was up for a run today as well. I met Sadie for the first time when I joined the Performance Project with Mac last fall. I had just ran Chicago and immediately jumped into training for Austin...not the best idea after training intensely for over a year. I was initially intimidated about joining the "fast club" as I call it (with K as president), but Sadie really welcomed me into the group and I have enjoyed getting to know her and run with her since then. So, I was excited about the chance to run with her again today.

But, a run wasn't in the cards for me today. I was able to get my OLD running shoes on, but it hurt too much when I tried to run for a few steps. So, no run today. Hopefully, I can try again in a day or two when it has healed more.

We had the privilege of hearing Dick Beardsley speak tonight, thanks to Team Spiridon and Conley Sports. He shared stories from a couple of his first few marathons, including his 1981 win at Grandma's. It was a unique opportunity to hear one of the best U.S. marathoners speak about running and his life.
As usual, I've been thinking a lot about what's next in terms of my running. The reality of marathon training seems more realistic now that my lower leg pain has been, dare I say, eliminated. With November right around the corner, I feel like it's too late to play catch up with training for Austin in February. I know I can run the half there if I want, but running another half isn't my goal. So, I think we are now looking at running a late Spring marathon, possibly Big Sur in CA at the end of April. It's described as a "moderately difficult" course due to some hills, but I'm not trying to BQ there. It seems like a beautiful course along the Pacific. Rogue training begins on Nov. 10.

I've been hesitant to announce this publicly because of my failure to follow through with my previous goal of doing the DC (and running the Austin marathon). But, goal-setting is an ongoing process that evolves. I'm not quitting on my goal to run another marathon (or eventually to BQ), but I am also taking a realistic appraisal of where I am right now. And, this is where I am today...

ART, Session 11...

The doctor-patient relationship is an interesting one. It is unique, powerful, and special in so many different ways. In my relationship with my ART doc, I think I am starting to glimpse what my clients may feel like with me sometimes. You come in for the first time hurting...physically, emotionally, or both. You are hopeful that something will make you feel better, but skeptical and perhaps mistrustful initially. You cling to the positive that you are given, but don't always abide by the doctor's orders. But, you persist...you do the work with the doc. You spend time together and get to know each other. And, the tide begins to turn...you see the possibility of change and real improvement. You are grateful.

I had my 1st session of ART a month and a half ago. I've gone twice a week, with a couple of exceptions when I only went once. I am so grateful for the decrease in my symptoms. The doc was excited to hear about my great 13.1 mile run over the weekend. He joked that I'm going to be his testimonial on their website. I would happily do it.

So, today was the usual ART on my lower legs followed by andoyne. He initially said that I could skip the anodyne today (it takes 25 minutes or so), but I said nope. I reminded him that we didn't do it last Monday and then I started hurting again during my runs last week, so I didn't want to take any chances. He laughed.

I told him about my shoe problems on Sunday and showed him the results. He's like K and wanted to touch the area - um, NO, it hurts. Interestingly, the ART hurt much more on my left leg than it has in weeks. Since that is the leg that I was primarily having the foot problems with during the run, he suggested that I was probably trying to compensate by running more on the outside of the foot since the sensitive area was on the inside of the foot. So, he didn't seem too concerned about the re-emergence of the pain there. I gotta get "the right" pair of shoes!

Next session is on Monday.

Frustrated and tired...

People frustrate me. A lot.

I am way too responsible for my own good. I arrived at work at 8:30am this morning. This after getting delayed in Houston for hours last night on our way back from Columbus and not getting into bed until a little before 2am. AND, my "foot issues" from wearing the new shoes at the race on Sunday got progressively worse yesterday. It hurt to put a stocking on over the sore while I was getting dressed this morning and I went through several pairs of shoes to find the one that hurt the least. So, not only am I exhausted, but I am also hobbling around. But, I'm here at work, dammit. Just like a good employee and supervisor. And, I'm having to run around behind everyone to clean up their messes (K knows how much I hate that).

So, I'm not having a good day.

Columbus...

Finally, free internet access. I go a little nutty when I can't check email, update my blog, check on everyone else via email and blogs, and have the internet at my fingertips. I feel calmer now that I am connected. It's been a couple of days since I posted, so this will probably be long...

I'll stick to the Columbus trip so far. We had a 5:40am flight yesterday, so we were up at 4am. It's probably best for our relationship if K and I don't talk to each other until at least 7am. We arrived at the gate as the flight was boarding and headed to Houston for our connecting flight to Columbus. We had a very tight connection, which we barely made. So, we arrived right on time in Columbus around 11am yesterday. Starving, we stopped to grab a quick bite to eat after we left the airport. We met K's parents and sister, who had also just arrived, at the hotel. Then, they dropped me off at the Expo while they headed off to the OSU pre-game festivities. I love a good Expo, so I enjoyed being able to take my time and view all of the booths. I picked up a few goodies for me and K, then headed back to the hotel to settle in for a long afternoon nap. K finally made it back from the game a little after 8 then we went to eat dinner at the hotel restaurant since all of the other local restaurants were busy. I had pasta...K had ribs. I had a hard time falling asleep because of my nap earlier in the day. I also had to finally tell K at 11:30pm to turn off the football.

So, here's all of the things that I did wrong on the day before and day of running a half-marathon:

I did not get much sleep on Friday or Saturday night.
I did not hydrate.
I spent 1+ hours at the Expo.
I walked 3/4 of a mile back to the hotel from the Expo (as well as a lot of walking at the airport).
I did not eat dinner until 9pm.
I wore new shoes on race day.

Thankfully, our hotel was a block or so from the start line, so we got to sleep in this morning. I didn't get out of bed until 7:20am. The race started at 8am. My whole approach to it though was that it was just an easy weekend long run. So, that's how I handled it.

K and I drove the course when we were here back in May because I was planning on running the full marathon at that time, so I was vaguely familiar with the course. Flat, flat, flat (except for the awesome downhill finish)...just the way I like it.

The weather was just about perfect for distance running this morning. It was in the 50's at the start, so I ditched my long-sleeve pullover and gloves at the clothing drop-off as soon as I got to the start area. I only had to wait 5-10 minutes before the gun went off. My game-plan for the day was to run an easy 9:30 pace and to walk the water stops (30 seconds or so). I was not going to be stupid and try to race this...that would have been a recipe for disaster. I knew within the first half-mile that my legs were going to cooperate today, and thankfully, I did not have any pain at all during the run. I didn't even have to stop and stretch during the run! Who would have thought this was even possible just a few short weeks ago when I could barely run 3 miles?!?!?

I stuck to my plan, and I had a fantastic run today. I couldn't have asked for much better (well, actually I had some foot issues with the new shoes). My legs felt great throughout the race, no shin or calf pain, and relatively good cardio. My need to address hydration/nutrition issues was further reinforced today. I alternated water and gatorade at every water stop, and I had a side stitch a little over halfway in. I had to take a bathroom break at mile 8. I took a gel at mile 9. I was a little worried that it was going to upset my stomach, but it didn't. I think it might have even helped with the fluids that I was taking in.

So, I finished in 2:16, which means that I averaged 10 minute miles (9:30 pace running though with the 30 seconds to walk through each water stop) + a 5 minute bathroom break. It's about 30 minutes off my half-marathon PR, but that is not what today was about at all. I am ecstatic (a) that I had a pain-free run!, and (b) that I comfortably ran a distance farther than I have run in months. I'm damn proud of that medal.

K had a relatively good run too, considering our lack of training lately. He placed 31st in his age group. Not bad at all. He was there at the finish to cheer me in. I heard him yell "Go, Mel! You did it!" as I went flying by toward the finish chute. Yes, I did.

After we rested for a little bit back at the hotel, K and I went to lunch with his mom. As usual, I wanted a big, yummy cheeseburger for my post-long run meal. I suggested going somewhere near the OSU campus, so we went to Eddie George's Grille 27. I had no idea it was a sports bar though until we got there. K assumed that I knew who Eddie George was when he suggested it. Um, no. I thought he was a chef or something (he's a former OSU and Tennessee Titans running back)! I was unimpressed with the place though and not happy with my cold cheeseburger that was brought to me without cheese.

After lunch, we walked over to the Wexner Center for the Arts on campus to see William Wegman's exhibit, "Funney/Strange." I loved all of his photos of his Weimaraners. I laughed out loud at some of them. Then, we went to the Topiary Garden to see Seurat's "A Sunday on the Island of La Grande Jatte", in topiary. Very unique and cool.
Now, we're going to dinner in the German Village tonight.

Columbus seems like a pretty cool city.