Exit 14, please...

Conquered...

We spent the weekend in Dallas. I had a few "classic Dallas" experiences, and also had a very eye-opening (I think for both me and K) conversation with an old friend about change.

K and I left here about 6:30 on Friday. We were delayed getting out of Austin by traffic and a couple of accidents (we only went 40 miles in the 1st hour). I don't think that I will be making that drive in the evening again...there were several long stretches of highway where they are working on the roads that do not have a shoulder and it is just way too narrow for my comfort. Throw into the mix the darkness and big trucks and it was nearly a panic attack in the making for me. We finally made it into Big D about 10:00. My cousin, Kristi, called just as we were driving through downtown and said that she and Michael were about to get something to eat at Taco Diner in the West Village. Perfect timing since we were driving past that exit at that moment! So, we met them there to hang out for a bit before we headed up to the hotel. Kristi and Michael (as well as the rest of that group) really had a huge impact on me in college and beyond. I was struggling with not quite fitting in with the frat-daddy and sorority chick crowd at SMU, and they introduced me to a whole new scene and I made same really great friendships along the way. We hadn't seen each other since SXSW 2005, so it was good to catch up with them and find out what everyone is up to. This was the first time that K got to meet them - I'm glad he had the chance to meet folks who knew "that girl" that I was so many years ago. It was a "classic Dallas" experience to be spending the evening with good friends in a very Dallas scene.

K and I had lunch with my mom in Addison on Saturday. Later that afternoon, I went to Northpark Mall with one of my best friends, Pete. Wow, that mall is impressive. It was the first time that I had been there since they completely remodelled the place and added a ton of new shops. Spending the afternoon shopping with Pete was another "classic Dallas" experience for me. He coveted my new Gucci sunglasses that I got last weekend...they rock. Meanwhile, I lusted after a pair of leopard-print D&G heels at Nordstrom's...with a price tag of $695. Sigh. But, I did walk away with my very first "big" handbag, which I definitely adore. I've always been a small purse kind of girl, so this is a "big" change for me (but, I need more room now to put the sunglass case in!).

K and I had plans to meet Kristi downtown for dinner at Victory Lounge at 8:00pm. Unfortunately, things didn't go as planned. It wasn't a good sign when the fire alarm went off at the hotel at 6:30. It was an even worse sign when we walked out the door of our room to see smoke coming from the end of the hallway. Fortunately, the exit stairs were the other direction and we walked down 12 flights of stairs to get outside. Then, the fire trucks showed up. It was our very own episode of "Rescue Me"! Well, it turned out that someone put out a cigarette in a plant by the elevator on our floor. I think there was just a lot of smoke, but no real fire thankfully. We weren't allowed to go back up to our room until 8:00 though. We got ready and headed over to Greenville Ave. for dinner at Snuffer's. Cheese fries at Snuffer's...another "classic Dallas" experience.

Then, the highlight of the trip was the Jackopierce concert at the House of Blues. It's a new venue in Dallas that just opened within the past few months. We had great seats in the balcony, the acoustics were great, and I got to see "my boys," Cary and Jack. They started playing together when they were both at SMU in the late 80's/early 90's. I don't think I've missed a show in Dallas since I first heard them play at Homecoming or some other campus event during my sophomore year in college. I'm glad that K got to experience it with me. It's a "classic Dallas" experience.

Finally, K and I had lunch with Pete today at Cafe Express in Mockingbird Station before we headed back to Austin. It was interesting to reflect on how much I have changed in the past couple of years since moving to Austin and especially since meeting K. I think it was eye-opening for K, too. I know that I have "mellowed out" a lot, even my mom commented on that at lunch yesterday. I do miss the girl I was to some extent - the girl who was a night owl, the girl who followed fashion trends religiously, the girl who never wore the same outfit twice, the girl who went to the movies on opening weekend, the girl who knew all the "hip" bands, the girl who loved to dance, the girl who went shopping all the time, the girl who loved spending a night out with friends, the girl who made lists, the girl who watched hours and hours of her favorite television shows, the girl who did what she wanted. But, I didn't have K in my life then...it wasn't complete. Our relationship is my priority now. I've chosen this path, so I can't grieve too much for the life I don't have anymore. He's opened up new doors that I didn't even know existed in myself and in love. He's my future. The past is just that...the past.

I'm a lucky girl...

To have such a great guy (big bootie comment aside). K just brought me roses. Enough said.

Size 2, 4, 6, 8...

I have a big bootie. K told me so.

And, he's right. My clothes have been fitting snug lately.

I'll take some responsibility for the extra pounds. I definitely have the runner mindset of "I can eat whatever I want because I ran today." And, it certainly doesn't help to eat all the time with someone who has such a high metabolism - K and I definitely indulge in appetizers and desserts a lot of the time. That boy can eat.

But, I'll also blame my hormones since I went on the pill last Fall. I remember the nurse talking with me about weight gain being one of the side effects. I smugly thought I didn't have to worry about that...after all, I'm a marathoner. I truly think my weight has steadily increased since then.

Yes, there's been a few times here and there when I haven't been training very much...but I've never gone more than a week without excercising at least a couple of times a week. And, I know that you don't necessarily lose any weight when training for a marathon...even when I was a size 4 after Freescale last year, I definitely had muscular thighs and a medium size bootie even then.

So, why is all this important? Well, like I said, my wardrobe has suddenly become more limited. And, I'm sure the increased weight hasn't helped my running either. So, this is my new goal..I need to get back comfortably into the 4-6 range. You'll know when I do...I'll wear the "bad" short denim skirt from the Rogue post-marathon party last year (the night I met K).

I'm still not in the mood to run. Instead, I went to the gym tonight - weights (45 minutes), elliptical (40 minutes), swim (20 minutes). Good workout.

Another weekend...without running.

It's been a good, busy weekend. We ended up staying home on Friday night catching up on the past couple of episodes of "Rescue Me" that we've missed. The alarm clock went off at 5am on Saturday...and I hit snooze 3 times before finally turning it off. I was tired. I didn't want to run 16 or 18 miles...so I didn't. K got up shortly before 6 and got the run in. Good for him. Not so good for me. I cried in bed after he got home. I want to enjoy running again. I want to be running as well as I have in the past. Neither of those things are happening right now. I don't want to give up on my goal (again), but I know that things aren't looking good (again).

I opted for some retail therapy on Saturday afternoon. K and I had lunch at La Madeline then went to check out The Domain, the new upscale shopping center up North. To be honest, I wasn't super impressed. Yes, it's nice to have a Neiman's in Austin and a Tiffany's if K ever wants to surprise me with another little blue box, but that's about all that's worth driving up there for. It's still not quite Dallas shopping. But, I did manage to walk away with a very good find from Neiman's...Gucci sunglasses at a very reasonable (for Gucci) price. After our shopping excursion, I went to the gym for a couple of hours and had a good workout - weights, elliptical, and swimming. I enjoyed it much more than I would have enjoyed the run that morning. K and I had dinner at Habana, a Cuban restaurant downtown. We finished off the night with a round of miniature golf. The weather was perfect for it, and we really enjoyed ourselves. K won...by one stroke.

Most of today was spent running errands and doing things around the house. We had a lovely dinner at Roy's, a Hawaiian fusion restaurant downtown, to celebrate K's old roommate's birthday. I would have sushi every day if I could (K doesn't like it though). Yum.

Unfortunately, the Sunday night dread of having to go back to work tomorrow is starting to build up again. I hate this feeling.

Oh, I finished reading Gilbert's book yesterday. Very moving and powerful. I highly recommend it.

Where does the time go?!?!

It's already noon, and I have not made a dent in my to-do list for today at work because I've been pulled off in other directions by people. How do you prioritize when *everything* is critical and needs to get done ASAP???

One of my staff sent me an email this morning to try to set up a meeting with me. I was in another meeting at the time and didn't respond to her email until I got back to my office a couple of hours later. She told me that she was talking by phone with another one of our staff who was on her way to the airport for vacation and told her that I hadn't responded to her email yet this morning. The response that she got was "She probably quit." Yup, things are pretty bad right now....

And, I have not gotten my vacation request approved by my supervisor for the Mexico trip. She's been giving me a hard time about taking time off recently because it's difficult to arrange coverage by other staff for what I do. Knowing that, I purposefully checked in with her about my plan to take a week off at the beginning of August before K and I even booked the trip. This will be the straw that breaks the camel's back if she does not approve my vacation request. It's booked, so we're going regardless...

How Mel got her groove back...

I have to get back in the groove of things, athletically that is. As you can probably see, I've been struggling - mentally and physically - with running lately. I've also been really missing the gym a lot. I used to be a gym rat for the last year that I lived in Dallas and the first 1 1/2 years that I was in Austin...then, I moved to South Austin and no longer had easy access to my gym. I flirted with the idea of changing gyms, but didn't really want the hassle and besides, I love 24 Hour Fitness. So, today I announced to K that I wanted to go the gym...and we did. We ran a couple of easy miles in the neighborhood first then went to check out the gym at Hancock Center. Still not as close as I would like, but I think it will work. Fortunately, the gym is having a special all month to allow a guest in each day with a member, so it worked out easily for K to come with me. We did weights first then I swam for a little bit and finished the evening off with a few minutes in the hot tub with K. I remembered how much I like the energy of the gym and the people-watching too. I'll be back...

Atlanta, The Conclusion...

So, I left off in my previous post as we were getting ready to meet up with Stephanie for dinner. Her husband, Drew, wasn't feeling well so their 3-year-old son was her date for dinner with me and K. We had a nice dinner at Strip in Atlantic Station. K had prime rib, and I had sushi...the best of both worlds for each of us.

Yesterday was another busy day. Steph and I went to Salon 313 to get my hair done, so we had a chance to have some girl time together. I wish we got to see each other more often! Other than my family obviously, she is the one person who has known me the longest...we've been friends since I was 14 years old. And, here's the kicker...I moved to Dallas from Atlanta when I was 15, so I think it's pretty amazing that our friendship survived the distance after all these years.

Last night, K and I went to the Braves vs. Reds game at Turner Field with my dad. This was the pinnacle of the trip. We specifically chose to go to Atlanta this weekend so that K could see the Reds play. Given that he's from Ohio, the Reds are his team. If I had to claim any baseball team as my own, it would be the Braves. So, I was bummed that they lost. But, all in all, it was a good time. It was memorable to spend a summer evening at the ballpark with my dad and K.

I had a hard time staying in the moment though last night because I was stressed about going back to work today. We had an early flight back to Austin this morning, so I was back at work at noon. And, that was enough to make me ready to go on vacation again! We're actually home this weekend, but then have a weekend trip to Dallas planned for the following weekend. And, then the next weekend is when we leave for Mexico!

(and, no, we still haven't ran).

Atlanta, Part 1...

Thankfully, we didn't have any flight problems this time around. We got in to Atlanta on Friday night. My brother picked us up at the airport and then we made the trek to the far northern suburbs of Atlanta, near Woodstock and Canton. Yesterday was a busy day filled with many tourist attractions. We had lunch at The Varsity, an Atlanta classic, for burgers and hot dogs. Then, we went on a tour of CNN (sigh, no Anderson Cooper sighting) followed by a walk through Centennial Park over to the new Coca-Cola museum. The museum tour finished with an opportunity to sample over 70 drinks made by Coca-Cola from all over the world. Some were good, some were not so good, but there's only one true Coca-Cola. After that, we headed back up North to have dinner at my dad's with friends of the family. My brother made delicious enchiladas. Yum. Then, back on the road through a thunderstorm over to Stone Mountain to see the laser light show. I saw the show a couple of times when I lived here as a teenager, but didn't really remember much of it. The best part is the tribute to Robert E. Lee at the end. After all, I am a Southern girl.

Today, K and I had lunch at Everybody's Pizza in the trendy North Highlands area. I wish we had more time to spend walking around the neighborhood there. Lots of cute, funky shops and restaurants to explore. Maybe next time...We spent the afternoon at the Georgia Aquarium. Lots and lots of fish! My favorites were the Beluga whales (white wales) and the Sea Otters (the otters reminded me of K). Now, my best friend Stephanie is on her way to pick us up from my dad's and we're going to dinner at Strip in Atlantic Station. Her friend is a chef there. Steak and sushi...both K and I will be happy! Tomorrow, I'm getting my hair done and we are going to the Braves game.

What a busy (but fun) trip!

(oh, we haven't ran).

We're going to Mexico!

Well, actually we're headed to Atlanta tonight, but we just booked our "big" trip for the year. We're going to Cancun on August 5-12 for a much needed "relaxing" vacation. We are staying at the Grand Oasis Playa. I can't wait!

Warning, warning! Don't ball drunk!

I met Natalie for an "easy" 6-mile run yesterday then we went over to Zax to meet K, Holly, and Chris. We had an enjoyable summer evening with friends. K had a few beers and seemed to be in good spirits (read buzzed) when we left. When we got home, still in his running gear from earlier, he decided to use the TP quadballer to work out the tightness in his quads. I was on the computer and wasn't paying much attention to him, but I looked over at one point and he was curled up holding his knee. He then announced that he was done and moved onto something else. As I was getting ready to leave this morning, he sheepishly said that he thinks he sprained his MCL using the baller last night. Lesson learned - don't ball drunk, people!

Keep it in perspective, Mel...

K and I didn't go to the workout last night. And, I had yet another crappy 9-mile run in the heat on Monday night. Okay, so what?

I know that I set a goal for myself, and I should be working toward that. But, I also don't want to feel guilty or bad if I don't run or if I don't hit my pace.

On the one hand, I know that if I really want to have a good chance of qualifying for Boston, I have to be completely focused and disciplined in order to achieve that. However, I get tired sometimes of having running controlling my life.

I just read an article about Alberto Salazar, winner of 3 consecutive NYC marathons, who had a heart attack last month. He's apparently doing well now and has made a great recovery. This is what caught my eye...

"I don't feel lucky that I dodged a bullet," Salazar said. "I feel lucky it happened. This made me really think about how inconsequential running is. I could be gone right now, and what would it have mattered? What was my life of 48 years all about?"

That's right. It doesn't matter that I missed my workout last night. What matters is the lovely time that I spent with K instead, meeting Natalie for an easy run tonight followed by food and drinks with Holly afterwards, exchanging emails with my friend Pete, making time to talk to my best friend Stephanie when she calls, going to see her and my family in Atlanta this weekend. That's what is really important.

Off...

Yesterday was a bonus off day to conclude our recovery week. We usually run 3-5 miles on Sundays as "recovery" from the long run on Saturday. But, not yesterday. This makes me quite nervous about what is in store for us over the next couple of weeks. Ruth was being kind to make sure we are completely rested before she kicks our ass over the next 2 weeks? I believe we're entering the hills phase of the training program now. Be afraid...

I've also been feeling "off" emotionally for the past few days. I finally feel like I'm getting back on track, thankfully...hopefully.

My first trail run...

No one will ever mistake me for a trail runner, that's for sure. Today was my first foray into trail running. We are finishing up a recovery week, so the long run for today was 60-80 minutes on the Greenbelt. I was just happy that we were starting at 7am rather than 6:00! The weather was pretty good - overcast, slight drizzle at some points, not too warm. We started at the Spyglass entrance to the Greenbelt and ran about a mile up to Barton Springs then picked up TLT from there and then ran back the way we came. My legs felt relatively good, some mild tightness in my shins/calves during the first couple of miles, but then I felt strong coming back in. The section of the Greenbelt that we ran was pretty rocky (and muddy) in spots. I was amazed at some of the veteran trail runners who just went flying through, while I was taking a much more cautious approach with the rocks. I didn't mind getting dirty or even falling if it came to that, but I was concerned about twisting an ankle or something like that. Steve told us before we started to make sure we were scanning the ground about 3 feet ahead, so I did. I was constantly alert to where I was going and choosing the best path. One of the things that I like about running is that I can usually zone out and de-stress, but I wasn't able to do that on the trail since I was having to remain present and pay attention to my footing. I'm glad that I finally got to see what all the buzz is about regarding trail running, but I can't see it being a regular part of my running. Oh, and we had breakfast tacos at Taco Deli after we finished the run. Now, that was a nice perk!

Keep your problems to yourself....

I have enough of my own. Wow, today was been a day full of other people trying to make *their* problems MY problem to deal with...and, not very nicely either. I don't appreciate answering the phone to someone barking orders at me without even identifying who they are or explaining why I am somehow responsible for fixing the problem. I will certainly take responsibility for any issues that are on my plate (and there are a lot of them right now), but I am *not* going to be running around cleaning up messes that aren't mine (or the direct staff that I manage). Hmph.

Rain, rain go away!

Tonight's workout was moved up to a 10-mile route on the roads up North since the trail is flooded in certain spots. It started raining though shortly before we needed to leave to head up there, so we opted for Plan B yet again. I ran up to the trail from the house and saw Ed a few minutes later. He was headed in the opposite direction, so I told him I'd see him on the other side later in our runs. The trail is still flooded in certain spots, but there are ways to get around it. I had some mild shin pain, mostly in my left leg, but it was manageable. All in all, it was a decent run.

What am I doing here?

So, I've been thinking a lot lately about the purpose of this blog. What is my goal here? (1) It's a running log in some ways, (2) It's a good way for folks who I don't get to see or talk to on a regular basis to check in and see what I'm up to every now and then, (3) It's a place for me to express myself...with limitations. I have to be mindful of how much "venting" I do about my job (many of us know of Rob's "Who Wants Pudding?" debacle with his former employer). I also have to be sensitive to how openly I talk about my relationship with K since many of you know him. He didn't necessarily sign up to have his life blogged about (although I have already asked him if there are certain things he definitely didn't want me to post about). So, in a way, I'm feeling slightly constrained about how free I can be here...but then I have to remember that this isn't necessarily just an online diary. I would say that I am generally a pretty guarded person, so this has been an interesting venue for self-expression. I've enjoyed posting though.

I have tried to instill in my staff and my students something that was ingrained in me during graduate school - I need to be prepared to have my words read back at me in court if ever called to testify about a report or something else that I have written. Same principle applies here, I guess. I have to be comfortable with what I am posting because it could be read by anyone and I need to consider the possible implications of that.

Any other blogging "etiquette" that I need to be aware of?

Well, that sucked...

Woke up this morning at 6:30. Yes, I know...how crazy is it that I was up this early on a holiday when I don't even wake up that early to go to work! Checked the weather forecast - temp was in the lower 80's, but the humidity was super high (over 90%). Not the best conditions for a race. As K and I left to head over to the start, it began raining. But, it was relatively brief and passed for the most part by the time we got there. Picked up my packet since I didn't get to do it yesterday. Once we were there, K decided that he wasn't going to run, so it was just me. Silly runner girl. Why do I do this to myself?

The start was delayed about 15 minutes, which was annoying. About 500 or so people ran. The course had the potential to be pretty fast for some. But, not for me. I knew within the 1st mile that it was not going to be my day...my shins were killing me and my calves were extremely tight. I saw K about a half mile in. I stopped to stretch for the first time at just under the 1 mile mark. Even with that stop, I was at about 7:50 for the first mile. I mentally just let go at that point though because it was hurting to run, even to walk. When the pain flares up, I can barely rotate my foot in a circle. I stopped about 5 or 6 times total to stretch, including when I saw K toward the end of the race. He ran the rest of the way in with me. I don't even want to know my finishing time.

Part of what is so frustrating about the pain is how unpredictable it seems to be. I don't think the surface matters (road, trail, track). It doesn't seem to matter how much I stretch beforehand. I've been using the TP massage ball pretty regularly like I am supposed to. I just don't know what to do. I told K that I'd tell Ruth about it to see if she has any insights.

After the run today and last Saturday, I'm not feeling very confident in my running right now.

There should be a holiday every week...

I really like having a day off in the middle of the week...it made another busy day at work much more tolerable today. K and I didn't make it to the group workout tonight. I (and possibly we) are running the Freedom 5000 tomorrow morning, so I figured that will make up for missing tonight's quality workout (a modified version of Straights and Curves). We went to happy hour tonight at Aussie's and it was a delight to see Tim (glad you are up and about!), The Enforcer, Holly, and Chris. Cross your fingers that the race doesn't get rained out tomorrow morning!

Definitely a Monday...

Today was one of those days at work when I didn't even have time to go to the bathroom. Seriously. I was at work just before 8 in my nice, new professional dress when normally I am just rolling out of bed at that time. It was the new guy's first day, so I had to make a good impression. I spent most of the day trying to get him oriented without overwhelming him too much. I really need him to hit the ground running so that I can finally get some relief.

I had to leave work early this afternoon to go to the dentist. I had a small cavity that needed to be filled, so nothing major. I managed to make it back home before 5:00 traffic got too bad, so I was happy about that. On my way home, I learned (again) that K does not listen to my voice mail messages. He just notes that I called, but doesn't actually listen to what I said in my message. Grrr...

I had another good run tonight. I had intended to run the 1-35 loop, but had to opt for Plan B (no comments about that, K) when I got to the Lamar bridge and the trail was closed due to flooding. So, I ended up running up to the dam, so I figure it was about 7 miles or so. No shin/calf pain again tonight so that was great. The cooler temps contiue to make running so much easier as well.

Sometimes a cigar really is just a cigar...

Most of the time, when couples argue about relatively trivial things, they are often angry/upset/frustrated about some other issue. For example, when couples argue about the dishes, there is usually another issue involved. However, sometimes it really is just about the dishes!

I had a good laugh this morning when I went to check my email and saw this article on the main Yahoo page. I sent it to K. Perfect timing in light of a discussion we had this weekend about doing stuff around the house. I couldn't have timed that any better myself!

Back in the saddle again...

Or, more accurately, back in my Mizuno's again. I had a good 5-mile run tonight. No shin/calf pain, which is always a good sign. I ran a mile from the house up to pick up the trail at I-35 & Riverside. Then, I ran the 3-mile loop from I-35 to S. 1st St. and then the mile back home. It's amazing how much difference the lower temp and humidity makes!

Had a busy, but generally uneventful, Sunday. K and I had lunch at Polvo's, and then I spent most of the day running errands. I went to the mall and got a new dress to wear to work tomorrow since my boss told me last week that she would like for me to dress up more for work now that I am in a more "powerful" position in the Department- basically, she'd like me to wear a suit everyday. Not going to happen. The new psychologist starts tomorrow. I haven't met him or talked to him at all yet, so I'm very curious to see what he's like.