Cause for concern...

Just to keep things in perspective: today marks 10 weeks from injury and yesterday marked 9 weeks from surgery. The other important milestone is that I have been weight-bearing for about 2 1/2 weeks, largely without the aid of crutches or the boot for 1 1/2 weeks. And, my PT is concerned about the continued limited range of motion in my ankle, particularly getting my foot past 90 degrees which is critical for lots of movements, including walking and running. I've had 5 sessions of PT since I have been weight-bearing so far, several of which have been 1.5 hours of activity, stretching, and manual manipulation. I also have several stretches that I am doing at home to work on it myself. But, I'm really worried - what if I don't regain full functionality? After an intense PT session yesterday, I seem to be walking a little less lurch-like, but every step is slow and requires concentrated effort. I have been managing the stairs at home better than I anticipated, although quite slowly and not with alternating steps. I don't have a lot of stamina to be on my feet for an extended period of time. But, it's not all doom and gloom. The big recent success has been reclaiming my car after almost 2 1/2 months! We took the car out last night to a nearby parking lot so I could see how I would do, and I was thrilled to find that I was able to manage the clutch without any problems! This alone will give me more of my life back as it gives me freedom to get out of the house and go places independently (although I have to be mindful of the walking at my destination). For some reason I thought it would be a good idea to try a trip to the grocery store on my first outing today - definitely not one of my brightest plans, but I made it through. I'm also cleared to hit the gym for the elliptical and bike, which is important to me so that I can begin to regain cardio while also working on range of motion particularly with the elliptical. Now that I can drive myself there, I will be a happy camper.

I survived the trip to Houston for the Sweet 16/Elite 8 games over the weekend. Our hotel was right by the stadium, but still involved a good .25 mile walk. Thankfully, I was able to get wheelchair assistance to our seats once we got to the stadium or I would have been done for. The outing really illuminated the difficulty I have getting around and made me realize that I'm not ready to travel by air yet (getting to the gate, dealing with a plane transfer, hauling stuff around). We had been holding out hope that I would be able to go to Ohio next weekend for Kurt's sister's wedding, but I think that's more than I can/should take on right now. My PT also advised against it at this point. Again, I'm just glad I have a few more months before our France trip or that would be bad, bad, bad!

We're slowly getting settled into the new house. It's definitely going to take some time though until I have more mobility and stamina for everything to get unpacked. K hasn't gone into a deep despair yet about living in the 'burbs, so that's a good sign. :) We've been exploring some of the new restaurants in our area and are figuring our way around to places. All in all though, I think we're both happy with the location.

I can't believe it's April this week. Wow, I have really missed out on the beginning of 2010, haven't I? April, I hope you have in store for me increased flexibility and mobility, getting settled into our house, and getting my practice started after the big hiccup of the past couple of months. Please?

A work in progress...

Today marks 9 weeks since injury and yesterday marked 8 weeks since surgery. My FB status following my PT session last Wednesday read, "Wow, what a PT session! My pitiful muscles were shaking. Ditched the boot for good. No crutches allowed in the house. Okay, here we go!" It was my 2nd session of weight-bearing activity and I was not expecting that much progress within a week of initial weight-bearing. But, that's where things stalled out because the rest of our life got in the way. The past week was a whirlwind of packing and moving, and I'm grateful for the small amount that I was able to help out at that point. But, it involved A LOT of time on my feet, which resulted in extreme swelling of my lower leg and foot by the end of the day. I wasn't ready to go cold turkey with my crutches because I was moving around more efficiently with them than without them at that point. I was frustrated because I wasn't really making any noticeable progress, but getting the move done took priority for a few days. So, now it's time to get back on track, especially with the feedback that I got from my PT during my session this morning. He was pretty concerned about my limited range of motion and put the fear in me. The words "If you want to run again, you have to...." were spoken. My pre-injury range of motion has never been great in my ankles (partially due to my "freakishly tight calves"), so I have a lot to overcome. After he spent some time working on range of motion, the joint felt a lot less stiff and helped me walk less lurch-like. I walked out of his office without my crutches for the first time, and I am going to try it as much as possible. He also cleared me to try standing and walking without my shoes, which means that I can take a normal shower (at least I hope I can) for the first time in months! I also get to try driving within the next week. My poor clutch...

I'm so eager to get back in the gym (that will come before the running). One thing I love about our new location is that our gym is only a couple of miles from the house. I desperately need to start doing some cardio since all I've done for the past couple of months is sit on my ass and eat, and it shows. The stationary bike is a good place to start for now (I don't think it's a good idea to try clipping in/out of my road bike yet). Swimming might be an option soon if I can manage to get myself in/out of the pool (stairs) and I also need to check on whether it's okay for my skin/incision site to be in water for a prolonged period.

In other news, we are officially suburbanites now! We spent our first night in our new house on Friday followed by a hectic weekend trying to get the remaining items out of the old place. We were treated to a visit from our neighbors on Friday night with home-made cookies in order to welcome us to the neighborhood. A much better reception than our previous neighbors who rudely requested that I not park in front of his house because he wanted to admire the thousands of dollars worth of landscaping they had done in the front yard. Grrrr.... We're already appreciating the significant increase in space compared to our old place, multiple bathrooms, and a garage for my car. It's going to take me some time to get everything unpacked sans crutches so look for a housewarming party in May possibly.

For the couple who traveled monthly, sometimes weekly, last year, we are taking our first (mini) trip since Breckenridge right before our world got thrown for a loop in January. We're headed to Houston for the NCAA Tourney on Friday. It will be great to get out of town, even if it's only a couple of hours away and "it's Houston." I'm nervous though about navigating getting to and around the stadium with my not quite healed self. We're going to check out the possibility of handicapped seating so that I don't have to deal with stairs. Fingers crossed.

I'm ready to be a part of the world again. It's been so hard largely being confined to our house for much of the past 2 months, especially missing the wonderful weather and all of the uniquely Austin festivities that have been going on recently. Watch out world, here I come (lurching forward)!

Moving forward...

I'll be happy when time is no longer measured in weeks since injury/surgery. Today marks 8 weeks from injury and yesterday marked 7 weeks since surgery. I had my 6-week follow-up with the doc last Tuesday and was cleared to start weight-bearing as tolerated. The bone has healed and no longer shows a fracture line. The joint is also stable. Other than no running for another month or so, all restrictions were removed. Great news, but it didn't turn out to be the big day that I was hoping because the doc wouldn't let me try weight-bearing until I saw my PT. Meaning that I wasn't able to walk out of his office as I had been hoping for and had a few more days on the crutches until I could get in to see my PT on Friday. And, that's when the magic happened.

I feel very fortunate that I had already been working with Cole for 3 sessions by this point. We ran through my daily exercises to start so he could evaluate my current state. He was satisfied that I was ready to move forward. I started on the stationary bike for 10 minutes which highlighted how little strength I have in my foot (to push the pedal around). Then, it was on to the leg press (with no weight obviously) which highlighted how much my quads have deteriorated. Then, it was time for the main event. I tried standing with my weight distributed on both legs and tolerated that without any problems. I didn't have any fear at that point and was eager to try walking. Ah, not so fast grasshopper. It wasn't quite as easy as I had hoped.

I left the session frustrated and disappointed with instructions to walk around the house using both, one, or no crutches with the boot based on whatever I could manage. I spent the weekend struggling with trying to figure out whether the issue was physical (my muscles just aren't strong enough to support me yet) or psychological (the big FEAR that I've been trying to wrangle). K suggested that it's likely a combination of both, and I agreed. I broke through the fear yesterday and took a few unsupported steps. It's really more of a lurch than a walk at this point, but I'll take it. I'm doing a lot better with just one crutch so that's how I've been getting around the house for the most part for the past two days. That has been wonderful because it has freed up one hand to carry things from place to place. The other exciting news is that I ditched the boot when I'm sleeping, so for the first time in nearly two months I have been able to sleep on my stomach. Oh, how glorious that has been! I have PT again tomorrow and I'm eager to keep moving forward. Each step brings me closer to getting my life back.

And, what a life it is! We closed on our new house about a week and a half ago, and we've been busy choosing paint colors, buying furniture, and moving. K has really been impressive in terms of managing the move by himself. It will be another busy week ahead as we get closer to officially living in the 'burbs.

Good riddance February, Hello March!

March, I never thought you'd get here! I've been waiting for you for 6 looooong weeks now. You are filled with hope and new beginnings. You are the starting point of me getting my life back.

My injury occurred 6 weeks ago from tomorrow. Today marks 5 weeks from my surgery. Another week to go and I should (hopefully) be cleared to start weight-bearing at my post-op visit next Tuesday. One thing I do know is that I will finally be able to put my foot flat on the ground when it comes time to take X-rays again at that appointment! And, without crying either might I add. The tech won't know what to do!

First, a physical update. I've had 3 sessions of PT, mostly to address the fear and anxiety I had that would have interfered with me working on range of motion exercises on my own. My PT was a perfect match for what I needed...emotionally. I have several "exercises" that I have to do 3 times/day, which I have done diligently (and without tears or *much* fuss). I know it's minor, but I'm now able to curl my toes (except for my big toe which is stubborn and can only tap), raise and lower my heel to 90 degrees, and rotate my ankle (slightly) outward. My foot is still swollen (and, if I understood the doc correctly at my first visit, will remain swollen at 3 months out!), but it seems to be lessening somewhat (to my undiscriminating eye). I am able to shower with the aid of a chair in the tub, and I am finally sleeping back in bed (although still with the aid of a Vicodin at night). I have been out of the house a handful of times, primarily for the doc and PT appointments, but I don't have a lot of stamina to be out and about for very long. I seem to overestimate what I can do, particularly when it comes to how much distance I can comfortably cover on my crutches. A recent highlight was a trip to Target where I was absolutely ecstatic to discover the motorized carts (seriously, how did I think I was going to manage going through the store when I was wiped out just getting dropped off at the front of the store and making my way into the store!). For those who missed this pic on K's FB, here's a laugh for you:
Emotionally, some days are easier to get through than others. Most of the time I am just trying to get through the day so that it will bring me one day closer to the next milestone (first it was getting out of the splint and into the boot, now it is becoming weight-bearing, then it will be working on walking without pain, climbing stairs, driving my car, and waaaay on down the line it will be running again). While my injury may have occurred while running, this has certainly not been your typical running injury where the biggest problem is coping with not being able to run. This has completely thrown our life upside down. I can't do even the most basic things that we all take for granted everyday. I have had to become dependent on K, which is not a position that either of us has welcomed. And, then there is the whole financial aspect of me quitting my job right before this happened that we're having to deal with as well. I have finally felt ready to tackle some work-related tasks in the past week or so (meaning that I have been able to stay awake through the afternoon and sit at the table for an extended stretch of time = progress). I'm really going to need to be earning some income next month...or things will be tough(er than they already are). I've started working on contracting applications with insurance companies. I wish I had been able to take this task on sooner since it will still take several months before things are finalized.

Not only are we expecting big changes with me starting to work on mobility next week, but we will also have a change of scenery as we are set to close on our house on Friday. It still hasn't really hit me though, probably because I am so limited in what I've been able to do for this process. We're in the middle of the packing process (a big thanks to my mom for coming down to help) and still have a lot more to do to close the door on this house and begin our life in the new house. We/I want to have several of the rooms in the new place painted, and we need to shop for some furniture and other items. None of this is easy to do in my current state.

So, bring it on, March. Let's see what you've got. It's got to be better than February, but maybe not quite as good as April. I'm excited you are finally here though!