Options...

I know I am making the "right" decision by not running tomorrow, but it doesn't mean it is an easy decision by any means. I have been mulling over the possible scenarios and here are the options as I see them, none of which are desirable:

A. Run the 50k and DNF (which I have never done)
B. Run the 25k and DNF
C. Do not run either race
D. Get hurt running either race because my mental acuity is not really that great right now since I am doped up on medications and all systems really need to be 100% given the challenging course out there
E. Have a slight chance of finishing

This just sucks and yes, I get to whine about it for a minute or two. There is no need to try to be a tough girl and attempt to run tomorrow, especially when it would be likely that I wouldn't be able to finish or get injured in the process. That is just not worth it. I have to also keep the bigger picture in mind here, which is that Jemez training starts in two weeks. Keep your eye on the prize, mel.

So, I think I am going to make the conscious decision NOT to pack (which I still haven't done and we are leaving in an hour) my running gear to avoid the temptation to try to run tomorrow and "see how it goes." That is exactly what I would talk myself into doing once we get out there and it would not be the smart decision. Rationally, I have been in bed for two days straight now, I have taken a variety of medications in the past 48 hours, I have not been able to go to work, I have not gotten dressed, I have not had much of an appetite and have clearly not eaten enough in the past two days to be prepared for the 50k distance, I feel weak and have no energy, and I don't see any signs that this is going to miraculously clear up in the next 12 hours.

I think not running may actually be harder than running would be. :(

Trying to find a positive, now that I won't be tired and sore from running, hopefully I will feel slightly better enough to enjoy our weekend in San Antonio after K's race in the morning. We are staying on the Riverwalk tomorrow night. Hopefully, I will have enough energy to be able to enjoy it.