What am I afraid of?

In keeping with my past couple of runs, I decided to continue reminding myself tonight what it feels like to run comfortably "fast." So, I did a 2-mile warm-up from RunTex to Mopac then did the Enfield 4 followed by a cooldown back to RunTex for a little under 8 miles total. What I learned about where I am right now...it takes me a little while to build up to a "fast" pace but once I'm there it feels comfortable and I'm able to run faster with the same perceived effort (my splits for the 4 miles were 8:59, 8:46, 8:33, 8:12). I felt strong through the hills, so I have trail running to thank for that I think. Given that I haven't focused on speed in nearly a year now, it's not a bad place to start again. That is if I want to. While I was running, I also reflected on why I don't like to run "fast," even though I know I can (fast for me at least). First of all, it hurts and as the name of my blog states I don't like to hurt. And, equally important, I start putting immense pressure on myself to succeed and I don't want to fail. Then, I get back to the point where I was last summer when running stopped being fun. For now, a small first step might be for me to set a time goal for the Rock 'n' Roll San Antonio half in a few weeks - not necessarily trying to PR or anything, but at least something to shoot for to try to push myself rather than giving myself permission to just run easy. We'll see...