Silicon Labs...

P*Dipps (and Hector) at Silicon Labs Marathon Relay.

It's always fun to run with the P*Dipps. The Enforcer had to deal with the horrible humidity during the 1st leg (12K), but she handled it like the champ that she is. The Hammer and Kellie ran the next 10k legs. Both had good runs. Kellie was flying into the chute for our exchange. I ran the 4th leg (5k). I was nervous because I didn't know what kind of run it would be - would my legs cooperate or would I be hurting from the start? Probably somewhere in between. I had to stop to stretch out my calves several times. Another issue was that it warmed up significantly for the later legs. Taken together with my horrible cardio, I managed to get a PW (personal worst) for a 5k. This was soooo far from the Bun Run in April, which is essentially the same course and where I ran 7:33 even splits. Not even close today. I finally made it back in and handed off to K who ran the anchor leg (5K). He had to contend with the heat too, but he's K, so he still managed to pull off a decent run.

I did like the fact that they moved the exchange area to Auditorium Shores from Austin High, where it was last year. I was able to move around easily and cheer on our runners at various points on the course. It was fun to be a spectator, and the runners seemed to appreciate the support.

(Update - apparently, the 5k legs were long - 3.5 miles. Still doesn't account for my horrible time, but does make me feel a tad better).

Dallas...

So far, this weekend has turned out to be just what I needed.

We got off work early yesterday afternoon so that we could hit the road before traffic got too bad getting out of Austin. We were on the road at 3:20 and made excellent time! It was a smooth, easy drive (especially compared to our last trip up in July). We got to Dallas around 6:00 and then headed over to Greenville Ave. to meet Pete for dinner at Terrelli's, a great Italian restaurant. As usual, everything was delicious.

From the info I had, I was under the assumption that the concert was going to start at 9:00. So, we headed over to the House of Blues to see Jackopierce, an old SMU band that I love. Unfortunately, they didn't go on until 9:45 or so. HOB is a fantastic new venue to see a concert, but it was absolutely freezing in there. K and I couldn't get warm, so we were getting kind of irritated that it took them so long to take the stage. But, it was worth it when they did. This is the 1st show in years that they played with a full band, as they have only been playing as an acoustic duo lately. The acoustics are great at HOB, so they sounded great with the band. It will probably be awhile until they play in the area again, so I'm glad that we got to see them.

We got up early this morning so that I could get my hair done from the girl that has been doing my hair since my senior year at SMU - 10 years ago! I actually haven't seen her though in a long time, since I haven't been getting up to Dallas very much. So, it was great to catch up. She was excited to hear about K, and she filled me in on her new house and baby! It was funny for me to be talking about "we" (me and K) and for her to be talking about a baby...so not our typical conversations in the past! She did a great job with my color and cut, as usual (although I think it is too colorful and short for K's taste).

After my hair appointment, K and I met my mom for lunch. I wish I got to spend more time with my mom. I'm glad we were all able to get together though.

Then, K and I went to the Modern Art Museum of Fort Worth. We were delighted to find out that there was no admission for any of the museums today as part of a special "Day in the District" event. I have really been looking forward to seeing the Ron Mueck exhibit ever since Erin posted about it on her blog recently. It certainly did not disappoint either. His sculptures were definitely some of the coolest pieces of art that I've ever seen. Amazing detail. I was also pleased to find out that another exhibition featuring abstract painters (Rothko, Newman, Fontana, Klein), which is scheduled to start tomorrow, was actually already open for viewing. I love Rothko's paintings. I don't think K appreciated it as much as I did though.

We headed home after the museum. I would have liked to take advantage of the free admission day and gone to the Kimball Art Museum too, but I knew that K was eager to get home before the Ohio State game at 7. We actually made it home at 6:15. He settled in front of the TV's quickly after we arrived. I think the house could be on fire right now and he wouldn't even notice...(update: it's 9:30pm and he hasn't even moved away to snack or eat dinner!).

Going to bed early tonight. Silicon Labs tomorrow...

ART, Session 5...

I had my 5th session of ART today. More of the same - ART on the front lower inside of my legs followed by anodyne on the same area. When the doc asked if things were any better, I said yes, but I can still feel it when I run. He asked how much I've been running...well, 7 miles on Saturday and 3 miles Sunday-Wednesday. He then suggested that I take some time off. Um, no. I have obviously taken plenty of time off, as apparent by my current lack of fitness. But, as he astutely noted, I wasn't having it worked on while I was taking time off. Okay, fine. He suggested not running until after my next session, so that we could see if that made a difference. I told him I'd give him Thursday-Saturday off, but that I was running on Sunday. He wanted to know what was on Sunday that I wouldn't compromise about, so I explained about Silicon Labs. Turns out that Advanced Rehabilitation is actually going to be there working at the event, so I told him that I'd come check in after I run. It actually works out well that he doesn't want me to run over the next couple of days since we'll be busy in Dallas. But, it's really not the best thing either for me in terms of my previous post...

Anyway, he still thinks that things are getting better. The pain was definitely more generalized when I initially came in, but now seems to be more localized, which he says is a good thing because it shows that some of the areas are healing. I also asked him why now? I ran 2 marathons and a handful of half-marathons last year without any problems, so why have these issues been plaguing me this year? Well, precisely for that reason. The injury is essentially the cumulative impact of all that running. The repetitive motion has taken it's toll. He also suggested that my biomechanical issues are probably so slight that it didn't contribute to any immediate injuries, but rather the small effects built up over time.

Next session is on Monday. Stay tuned.

Weight...

Okay, deep breath. Very sensitive subject matter for me...

I am really, really upset that I have gained so much weight over the past year, mostly it seems like in the past 6 months, and that my clothes don't fit.

I tried to express this to K last night when I was in bed crying about it, but I got frustrated because I don't think he understands how much this is affecting me. Part of that is my fault for not conveying the whole picture. But, also, he's probably been at the other end of the spectrum at points since he's so damn thin with no body fat whatsoever (no, I'm not exaggerating).

Weight has always been somewhat of an issue for me, but I've never necessarily been the "fat kid" or anything like that. I've just never really been "thin" until the past couple of years. My weight really skyrocketed though when I was in grad school because it was such a busy, stressful time full of eating fast food simply because it was fast and easy and no time to exercise. I hate seeing pictures of myself during these years.

But, once I finally graduated, I had more time and started working out at the gym obsessively during my post-doc year. I saw noticeable improvement, but the weight really started dropping off when I moved to Austin 3 years ago as I continued my gym regimen and started running. I saw sizes that I had never seen before - 8, 6, 4, and even a few 2's. I was also very rigid about what I ate at that point.

I loved going to clothing stores because I knew that clothes would fit me. These are now the clothes that are sitting in my closet that I cannot wear right now.

I'm also concerned about some of K's attitudes toward weight. He's made some disparaging comments about overweight people in the past. My mom has always struggled with her weight, and I know it was a source of tension between my parents. I can remember getting subtle messages from my dad too as a teenager that I needed to lose weight...and, again, I was never necessarily "fat" or "chubby." I was athletic!

Now, I'm here again. I'm so sad that I let this happen. I'm also scared that I'm not going to be able to lose the weight. My life is so different than it was when I did this 3-4 years ago. I love spending time with K and don't necessarily look forward to spending 2 hours at the gym when I would rather be at home with him. My eating patterns have also obviously changed with K - it's hard to eat what I used to when I need to prepare a meal for both of us or at least make sure that he has something to eat.

I got a Rogue email with nutrition info from Meredith (Terranova) this week, and thought about trying to meet with her. But, of course, that's $. And, $ is still a stressor.

And, then of course, there is how this has impacted my running. I feel so heavy and slow. I ran the 3-mile loop on the trail Sunday-Wednesday, and my cardio just sucks. 3 miles!?!?!

Okay, that was a lot for me. Deep breath again...

2 Doctors in 1 Day...

Today was the day of multiple doctor's appointments. 1 good, 1 not so good.

I had my 4th session of ART this morning. He had me start out with the TP equipment to loosen my muscles up. Then, he did the ART, mostly on my calves. He was showing some others the technique, so I had an audience while I writhed and grunted in pain. He does see improvement though. I finished up with the anodyne therapy on the inside and outside of my lower legs. Session 5 is on Thursday...hopefully, that will tune me up enough for the 5k leg at Silicon Labs on Sunday.

Then, this afternoon it was time to revisit the use of the birth control pill. As I have said before, I'm convinced that it has contributed to my weight gain since I started using it last October. It was not a good visit. First, I got weighed. I really, really did not want to see that I have gained ## pounds (yes, double-digits, folks) over the past year. Immediately after the horror of seeing my weight, I had my blood pressure taken. Um, yeah. It was pretty darn high at that moment. I have always had excellent BP, so I was taken aback that it was suddenly high. Apparently the pill can cause high BP, so it has to be carefully monitored. I have to go back twice within the next 30 days to have it taken again, and if it continues to be high, then I have to look at an alternate form of birth control. Maybe next time it will help that I won't be getting weighed right before getting my BP taken!!!! In fact, I had it taken again right before I left and it was indeed lower. Shocker.

And, the doc did not seem convinced that the pill has contributed to my weight gain. Ugh.

Now, I'm going to try to go for a run. I just hope this day isn't about to get worse...

Hang in there, Mel...

So, today's run didn't go quite as well as yesterday's. I convinced K to get out of bed with me this morning and go run (because he needs to get back into shape just as much as I do). Since I did a "long" run yesterday, I just set out to do the 3-mile loop on the trail, mostly to work on fitness and test out the legs for 2 days in a row of running. The pain made it's presence known today, and I had to stop and stretch and even walk a little bit. I go to the doc tomorrow, so I'll try again on Tuesday.

I was sporting a new pair of running shorts this morning - size MEDIUM Nike track shorts. I didn't like them. I love my Hind PE shorts because they are short and don't ride up. But, of course, they don't fit right now. K and I went to Academy last night so that he could get a new pair of basketball shoes, and I figured I might as well try to find a pair of running shorts that will fit since I was there. Not a huge selection, so that is what I ended up with. Just more motivation to get back into my other ones.

Other running news: The P*Dipps will represent at Silicon Labs Marathon Relay on Sunday. K and I will be running with The Enforcer, The Hammer, and his son. I was surprised to see that the start time was 8am instead of 7am or 7:30am. I hope that it doesn't warm up too much for the later legs. I like that they changed the exchange point to Auditorium Shores, which should make it easier than last year to cheer on the other runners.

Things that we have already found out which conflict with the DC races: IBM 10K on 10/21 - Columbus half-marathon (which I'm certainly not in shape for, but we were thinking of still going for the Ohio State vs. Michigan State game); EAS Run for the Water 10 miler on 11/11 - my 10 year reunion at SMU, and opening weekend at Breckenridge (we found a really amazing deal for hotel and air).

Each marathon that you run has a different story. I've already decided that if (when) I make it to Austin, it's not going to be about getting a PR or qualifying for Boston...it's going to be about persistence and not giving up.

Zero...

That's right. Zero. That is what my pain level was during the 2nd half of my run this morning. Can you believe it?!?!?!

K opted to sleep in, so I set out to do the 7-mile loop on the trail by myself...armed, of course, with my cell phone to call K in an emergency. I stopped a few times during the first few miles to stretch, and it seemed to keep the pain at bay - I'd say that the pain level was about a 4 during the 1st half of the run, but by the time that I made it to the Rock it was essentially gone. The major inhibitor today was my lack of fitness, and I can work on that.

I was pleasantly surprised by the cooler weather when I walked out the door. Each morning when I've left for work lately, I've thought that it would be nice to go for a run because the weather has been so pleasant. I was happy to be out there today. I saw Chris and Chad as they are tapering for their upcoming marathons, and I saw Danny who was my coach for Chicago last summer. All of the running groups were out in force training for Austin. I saw plenty of Gazelle's and Austin Fit'ers, while all the Rogues were off the trail doing another route.

I think I'm going to try a short 3 or 4 mile run tomorrow and possibly a swim. I go back to the doctor on Monday. Hopefully, I will be able to share news of 2 good runs.

TGIF!

I can't believe that I haven't posted since Tuesday. I've still been in a grouchy mood since then, so I haven't had much positive to share.

I haven't tried to run since the bad run on Tuesday night. I can't take much more negative right now, so I've been avoiding running just because of the possibility that it will be another bad run. And also because I'm curious about the timing of the ART on how it affects my running. I had my 3rd session yesterday - anodyne therapy on my calves again followed by ART on both shins and calves. It hurts so good. The doc asked about my weekend plans, and my immediate response was that I would be thrilled if I could run 8-10 miles. I think that K and I will try a run tomorrow morning, with the understanding again that I may have to cut it short if I'm hurting and he has to come pick me up. When did running get this hard?

I'm so glad that it is Friday. Another workweek done. One of the things that I need to work on is being comfortable addressing issues that can potentially lead to conflict with my staff. I'm getting frustrated with myself for letting things go that need to be addressed just because I don't want to deal with it. I did address "new guy" coming in late and leaving early though, and I feel relieved now that it is done. Dress code is another issue with one of my staff that I need to deal with, and another one needs to be a team player and accept when I tell her to do something without challenging me. I'm realizing that I am doing a disservice to them (and our team) as a supervisor by not addressing these issues, so I think that is the reframe that I needed in order to be able to confront these issues with them. Gulp.

I'm looking forward to a relatively low-key weekend at home with K. It's been pretty rare this summer that we haven't had a lot going on, so we'll take advantage of it when we can! We're making a quick trip to Dallas next weekend for a concert, but then coming back on Saturday for the Silicon Labs marathon relay (provided of course that I can run).

We're going to see "3:10 to Yuma" tonight at Alamo. Movie review to follow.

Re-evaluation...

I can't sleep.

Let's see, it's been a little more than 3 weeks since "I am sad and grumpy." Time to re-evaluate:

1. K and I are fine (except when we're not).

2. I can't run.

3. My clothes still don't fit. I refuse to buy a pair of jeans in a bigger size, so I guess I won't be leaving the house much when it gets cooler.

4. Still unhappy at work.

5. Still financially stressed.

6. Friends still hurting.

And, that's why I'm still S&G.

A good day turned bad...

Woah there, Mel. Not so fast. Despite feeling good about last night's run, you're not rid of the pain yet.

Indeed.

I had my 2nd doc appointment today, and boy, was I hopeful. I had another round of anodyne therapy, but this time on my calves rather than my shins, followed by more ART on both the front of my legs and my calves. The doc felt like they were definitely looser than they were last Friday. Definitely.

Since I didn't have a good run on Saturday after having the session on Friday, I asked him if this would be something that I would notice immediately or whether the benefits would be more apparent a few days later (as evident in last night's run). He indicated that it should have an immediate effect, which it certainly did in terms of loosening up my calf muscles even more (they finally jiggled like K's do!).

So, I came home in a great mood today. My legs felt good, work was okay, K was home early, and I was optimistic that things were going to turn around with my running.

And, this is where the day turned bad. I set out to do the 4-mile loop on the trail tonight, armed with my headlamp if things went downhill and I ended up walking back in the dark. I made it a little over a mile into my run, already having to stop and stretch a couple of times because my calves were getting tight. They felt as hard as rocks again. I didn't want to continue on hurting and end up having to walk even further back, so I turned around. The pain was definitely in the 8-10 range tonight.

Needless to say I feel so deflated right now.

I have another session of ART on Thursday afternoon.

K just suggested getting my form analyzed to determine whether the pain is due to any biomechanical issues that can be remedied. I actually had the same thought myself as I was walking back tonight when Carmen blew past me so effortlessly. Her next class doesn't start until 10/20 though.

I want to feel better now.

5 out of 10...

My shin pain was 5 out of 10 on the pain scale tonight. It's been 8-10 lately, so this was a noticeable improvement.

K and I went to Zen for dinner because I wanted sushi and I needed to make sure that K would be fed. Now that he had to start fending for himself more with dinner since last week, he did not eat dinner one night and ate bacon and pierogies another night. Even though he doesn't have an ounce of body fat on him, I'm sure his insides aren't exactly the picture of health given his eating habits. So, given my concern, Zen it was for dinner (followed by a cookie monster at Amy's!).

It got later in the evening and I think K started to question whether I was actually going to go for a run. I know I shouldn't have, but I ran on the roads since I didn't want to run on the trail in the dark. After the disaster last Thursday, I took my cell phone with me so that I could call K to come pick me up if needed.

But, I didn't need it thankfully. I ran about 3.5 miles in the neighborhood - DOWN Congress and back up a different route than I usually take which K recommended that I try since it seems to be less hilly. My shin pain was definitely only moderate tonight - not severe like it has been lately. I didn't let the terrorists win.

ART session 2 tomorrow at 4pm. I can't wait.

I might still be able to be a runner again after all.

ACL Days 2 and 3...

Ohio State won yesterday, thankfully. K got to wear his Buckeyes shirt proudly to ACL after the game. We made it to the park in time for the 6:30 Arctic Monkeys show then we popped over to see the Indigo Girls. The big event though was Arcade Fire. K was eager to see Muse, so we were disappointed to find out that they had moved Muse later in the evening opposite Arcade Fire at the last minute when the White Stripes canceled. I was prepared to leave Arcade Fire after "Rebellion," but they didn't play it until the very end! We did make it over in time to see the last half hour of Muse, which was overstimulating for me but K had a great time. He enjoyed them rocking out! Not this girl though.

We got lucky with parking both days. We parked in the Barton Hills area. Although we had to deal with the hills walking back, it really wasn't too bad at all.

Today was the longest day that we spent at the festival. We got there around 2 and checked in with Pete and his crew then headed over to see Robert Earl Keen, which we both enjoyed (despite the heat). Then, we went over to get cool in the AT&T Digital Oasis area (really this was just an opportunity for K to check the NFL scores from the games that he was missing). Bloc Party was next, which did absolutely nothing for me (but this was one of the compromises that K and I had made in advance because I would have preferred to see Lucinda Williams in that slot). We had Salt Lick for dinner, which was yummy. By this point, I was "done." I was tired, hot, getting cranky, and not necessarily dying to see any of the remaining bands. Fortunately, we all settled into the lounge chairs in the Rock Island Hideaway and enjoyed the reprieve from the sun after it went down. We got to see/hear Wilco from our spot and then Ghostland Observatory, which might just have been my favorite show of the festival. It definitely connected with old school Mel's music taste. I loved it.

Then, we battled the crowds to make our way over to see Bob Dylan. Now, I know that he's a "legend" and an icon, but I was not impressed...at all. It didn't help matters that we couldn't really see or hear anything at first because we were so far from the stage, but even when we moved closer I still wasn't moved by his voice or poor articulation. I convinced K to leave early.

Overall, we stuck to our pre-planned schedule for the festival, and I'm very proud of us for doing that.

Now, I need a day off to recover from the weekend before dealing with another work week.

The power of football...

Ohio State vs. Washington at halftime: 3-7.

At 4:15 pm, K said, "Obviously we have to stay (home) a little longer."

Obviously.

No Blue October show at 4:30 as previously planned.

God, I just hope they don't lose....

Welcome to my world on College Football Saturday!

(I told him to smile like Michigan is losing!).

TV 1:
TV2: (no movement necessary on his part)
The only thing missing is a beer...which he has now remedied!

Sigh, it's still only September.