Moving forward...

I'll be happy when time is no longer measured in weeks since injury/surgery. Today marks 8 weeks from injury and yesterday marked 7 weeks since surgery. I had my 6-week follow-up with the doc last Tuesday and was cleared to start weight-bearing as tolerated. The bone has healed and no longer shows a fracture line. The joint is also stable. Other than no running for another month or so, all restrictions were removed. Great news, but it didn't turn out to be the big day that I was hoping because the doc wouldn't let me try weight-bearing until I saw my PT. Meaning that I wasn't able to walk out of his office as I had been hoping for and had a few more days on the crutches until I could get in to see my PT on Friday. And, that's when the magic happened.

I feel very fortunate that I had already been working with Cole for 3 sessions by this point. We ran through my daily exercises to start so he could evaluate my current state. He was satisfied that I was ready to move forward. I started on the stationary bike for 10 minutes which highlighted how little strength I have in my foot (to push the pedal around). Then, it was on to the leg press (with no weight obviously) which highlighted how much my quads have deteriorated. Then, it was time for the main event. I tried standing with my weight distributed on both legs and tolerated that without any problems. I didn't have any fear at that point and was eager to try walking. Ah, not so fast grasshopper. It wasn't quite as easy as I had hoped.

I left the session frustrated and disappointed with instructions to walk around the house using both, one, or no crutches with the boot based on whatever I could manage. I spent the weekend struggling with trying to figure out whether the issue was physical (my muscles just aren't strong enough to support me yet) or psychological (the big FEAR that I've been trying to wrangle). K suggested that it's likely a combination of both, and I agreed. I broke through the fear yesterday and took a few unsupported steps. It's really more of a lurch than a walk at this point, but I'll take it. I'm doing a lot better with just one crutch so that's how I've been getting around the house for the most part for the past two days. That has been wonderful because it has freed up one hand to carry things from place to place. The other exciting news is that I ditched the boot when I'm sleeping, so for the first time in nearly two months I have been able to sleep on my stomach. Oh, how glorious that has been! I have PT again tomorrow and I'm eager to keep moving forward. Each step brings me closer to getting my life back.

And, what a life it is! We closed on our new house about a week and a half ago, and we've been busy choosing paint colors, buying furniture, and moving. K has really been impressive in terms of managing the move by himself. It will be another busy week ahead as we get closer to officially living in the 'burbs.

Good riddance February, Hello March!

March, I never thought you'd get here! I've been waiting for you for 6 looooong weeks now. You are filled with hope and new beginnings. You are the starting point of me getting my life back.

My injury occurred 6 weeks ago from tomorrow. Today marks 5 weeks from my surgery. Another week to go and I should (hopefully) be cleared to start weight-bearing at my post-op visit next Tuesday. One thing I do know is that I will finally be able to put my foot flat on the ground when it comes time to take X-rays again at that appointment! And, without crying either might I add. The tech won't know what to do!

First, a physical update. I've had 3 sessions of PT, mostly to address the fear and anxiety I had that would have interfered with me working on range of motion exercises on my own. My PT was a perfect match for what I needed...emotionally. I have several "exercises" that I have to do 3 times/day, which I have done diligently (and without tears or *much* fuss). I know it's minor, but I'm now able to curl my toes (except for my big toe which is stubborn and can only tap), raise and lower my heel to 90 degrees, and rotate my ankle (slightly) outward. My foot is still swollen (and, if I understood the doc correctly at my first visit, will remain swollen at 3 months out!), but it seems to be lessening somewhat (to my undiscriminating eye). I am able to shower with the aid of a chair in the tub, and I am finally sleeping back in bed (although still with the aid of a Vicodin at night). I have been out of the house a handful of times, primarily for the doc and PT appointments, but I don't have a lot of stamina to be out and about for very long. I seem to overestimate what I can do, particularly when it comes to how much distance I can comfortably cover on my crutches. A recent highlight was a trip to Target where I was absolutely ecstatic to discover the motorized carts (seriously, how did I think I was going to manage going through the store when I was wiped out just getting dropped off at the front of the store and making my way into the store!). For those who missed this pic on K's FB, here's a laugh for you:
Emotionally, some days are easier to get through than others. Most of the time I am just trying to get through the day so that it will bring me one day closer to the next milestone (first it was getting out of the splint and into the boot, now it is becoming weight-bearing, then it will be working on walking without pain, climbing stairs, driving my car, and waaaay on down the line it will be running again). While my injury may have occurred while running, this has certainly not been your typical running injury where the biggest problem is coping with not being able to run. This has completely thrown our life upside down. I can't do even the most basic things that we all take for granted everyday. I have had to become dependent on K, which is not a position that either of us has welcomed. And, then there is the whole financial aspect of me quitting my job right before this happened that we're having to deal with as well. I have finally felt ready to tackle some work-related tasks in the past week or so (meaning that I have been able to stay awake through the afternoon and sit at the table for an extended stretch of time = progress). I'm really going to need to be earning some income next month...or things will be tough(er than they already are). I've started working on contracting applications with insurance companies. I wish I had been able to take this task on sooner since it will still take several months before things are finalized.

Not only are we expecting big changes with me starting to work on mobility next week, but we will also have a change of scenery as we are set to close on our house on Friday. It still hasn't really hit me though, probably because I am so limited in what I've been able to do for this process. We're in the middle of the packing process (a big thanks to my mom for coming down to help) and still have a lot more to do to close the door on this house and begin our life in the new house. We/I want to have several of the rooms in the new place painted, and we need to shop for some furniture and other items. None of this is easy to do in my current state.

So, bring it on, March. Let's see what you've got. It's got to be better than February, but maybe not quite as good as April. I'm excited you are finally here though!

Hope...one toe curl at a time

I had my first PT session today and had my first glimmer of hope that I'm going to make it through this.

I'm really glad the doc sent me to start PT early. My anxiety and fear were just getting too big, and clearly had the potential to interfere with my recovery if they continued unchecked. As I have been reflecting on it and trying to sort through my feelings, I have been trying to focus on finishing the sentence "I'm scared." Yes, but of what? I'm scared that it's going to hurt. Obviously. I'm scared that I'm going to hurt it. The nurse and PT both reassured me that moving it isn't going to cause any damage at this point. That helps to know. I'm scared that it's not going to get better. From an orthopedic standpoint, everything looks fine. The problem is mental more than anything else.

I mastered some of the fear today. I have a clearer idea of what I need to do. I want to be as ready as I can be for my next doc appointment in three weeks when I should leave weight-bearing. I have a feeling that's when the real work will begin though.

But, for now, progress is measured in toe curls and heel raises. Funny how quickly things can change. Progress used to be measured in terms of how far and how fast. And, it will again one day. Today though is marked by taking satisfaction in the small successes. One toe curl at a time.

A long way to go...

It's been a rough day.

I had my first follow-up visit with the doc since my surgery 2 1/2 weeks ago. The plan was to have the sutures removed, more X-rays, and replace the splint with a boot. Getting the splint off has been my main goal for the past week or so because it was so darn heavy and uncomfortable. Again with my false expectations, I assumed that I would be infinitely more comfortable with the boot. Essentially, feeling fine again.

HA!

For a smart girl, I can be really stupid sometimes.

The first order of business at today's appointment was to get the splint removed, which naturally involved some slight jostling of my ankle. Cue the waterworks. The tears intensified once I got the first look at my ankle in three weeks. While the swelling had gone substantially down (meaning my foot no longer looked like the head of a hammerhead shark), so had my lower leg muscles. My leg looked so puny!!!! My runner girl calf was long gone. I also had a glance at where the incisions are on each side of my foot. Glance I said, as I couldn't really bear to look at my leg for long.

Next up were the X-rays. And, more tears because I had to get my foot as flat as possible for them which was quite painful. My anxiety just spiraled from there because I saw how much difficulty I was having with flexing my foot, which is critical in terms of my ability to make progress with range of motion and walking once it's time. Range of motion in my ankles has been a huge issue with me even before this happened (my massage therapist will say a big amen to that) so this is going to be exacerbated with my current state.

Then it was time for the stitches to get removed. Bless the kind nurse who was patient with me during this process. It didn't really hurt too bad, but I was already on edge anyway so that made things worse.

Cue the doc. He indicated that he wants me to start PT now (rather than waiting until I am weight-bearing which is what typically occurs) because he's concerned that my anxiety about moving my ankle will inhibit me doing range of motion exercises on my own. Smart guy.

Then for the grand finale. Getting fitted for the boot, which meant that my foot had to be at a 90 degree angle. Again with the patient nurse who told me to take deep breaths (as I'm crying and telling K that I can't do it) and keep pressing my heel down as far as I could. Somehow I don't think it's going to go well when K and I have to do this ourselves at home.

So, where to from here? I have my first PT appointment next Tuesday to start working on range of motion and desensitization. I still can't put any weight on it though so I'm on my crutches until March 9. I know that it's not THAT far away, but just getting through one day is difficult. And, somehow we'll be homeowners at that point and moving into our new home. How exactly that's going to happen is still an unknown...

Timing...

I've been thinking a lot about timing lately. The timing of things that have already happened and the timing of things to come, particularly in relation to finances and plans.

So, let's see how we ended up here:

In terms of relevant factors, I can take it all the way back to last September. My Jetta (still a fine car) would have been paid off in October...meaning that I wouldn't be worried about making a car payment right now. But, I am. For a nice Porsche that I haven't driven since the day I broke my ankle and won't again until next month (hopefully).

And, then there is the big one. Making the abrupt decision last November to quit my job and start my own practice at the beginning of January. This has had so many ripple effects. I know that I couldn't have known that I'd be in this position, and I'm not saying that I harbor any feelings of longing for that job, but a bit of stability would be nice right now. I had enough money to get through a couple of months while I worked to get my practice off the ground, but I'm concerned because I am going to be in a position without any income for longer than I expected. Throw in medical bills amount to be determined, buying a house, and paying rent on an office that I'm not using. Not the best timing.

K has been working hard on setting up the financing for the house this week. I know he wishes as well that the timing of this was better in terms of being in a more stable situation. After the break-in in December, I was pretty clear about wanting to move to a "safer" neighborhood (yes, I know that crime happens everywhere), but I don't want to worry about something happening to that black beauty parked in front of our house all the time since we don't have a garage and I want the peace of mind of an alarm system. We've clearly outgrown our little bungalow and definitely needed something bigger anyway for some time now. Throw in the extension of the tax credit for first-time homebuyers and our lease expiring in April, and we were ready to move forward. Things would be a lot different if I hadn't quit my job or broken my ankle, that's all I'm saying.

One good thing in terms of the timing of the accident was that I was still covered under my previous insurance through the end of January and had been added to K's insurance as well that month. So, hopefully, having primary and secondary insurance will reduce our out-of-pocket expenses for the ER visit and surgery.

I got an eye-opening idea of what to expect for the next couple of months today from JB (who had a similar, although more severe, injury and surgery with my doc a couple of years ago). I had false hope that all would return to normal once I was weight-bearing at the beginning of March. Alas, it's not quite that easy. It really is a long road ahead and I'm nowhere near the end, or even halfway point for that matter. Surprisingly, it's not even getting back to running that I'm so worried about at this point. I just want to get the basics back - WALK, work, drive, sleep, shower. While I think I have surprised K with the things that I am finding ways to do for myself, I feel so helpless and dependent for the most basic things. And, I hate it.

We're going to have to reassess how we're going to get through the next couple of months after I am weight-bearing. Obviously, one of the primary concerns will be getting us packed and moved (into a two-story house) next month. Like I said, I mistakenly thought I would be back to "normal" a couple of days after we close, but this seems like it's going to be a bigger challenge than I was expecting given my still limited abilities. We were planning to go to NYC to run the NYC Half in March, and although I knew I wouldn't be able to run, I thought we might still be able to go for K to run and have a fun trip. Um, no. We have a few other trips planned for late March and April as well that might be compromised. At this point, I guess I should just be thankful that the TdF is in July, not March, April, or May.

I have my first follow-up visit with the doc next Thursday. I can't wait for this appointment since I will get out of this damn splint and into a boot (although still stuck with the crutches). Then, we'll see what opportunities and challenges that brings. For now, I'm taking it day by day, hour by hour. Trying to manage the pain, physically and emotionally. I'm not sure which one is harder...

Week one...check.

Week one post surgery down. And, I'm losing the mental battle.

I have spent much of the past two weeks since my fall knocked out and in a haze due to the pain medication. Which was frustrating. So, once the pain diminished, I decided to try it out without the pain meds. I haven't taken anything since Friday morning, and I was definitely more alert over the weekend (which was nice so that I could actually spend some time with K). But, it's also made me aware of just how uncomfortable I am. So, now I'm thinking that being knocked out and oblivious might be the better way to go (if it wasn't for the whole constipation thing that goes along with narcotics). I stayed pretty doped up in the immediate days after surgery last week which was a necessity at that point, but the acute pain really subsided by last Thursday. So, I wouldn't say that I'm in pain per se at this point, just a lot of discomfort. I am in a bulky Jones splint, which is quite bulky and heavy as the name implies. I just can't get in a comfortable position for any length of time. My world for the past two weeks has essentially been confined to our couch for nearly 24 hours a day with a few excursions to the bathroom. I tried to sleep in our bed a couple of nights toward the end of last week, but I concluded that I sleep a bit better on the couch because I feel more supported. It did make me realize though just how much I haven't had any real physical contact with K since this happened - no snuggling on the couch while watching tv, holding hands while walking around, or sleeping next to each other - and just how much I need this. Sigh.

So, I'm pretty miserable. And, so, so bored. With several more weeks of this to come.

On a positive note, we are under contract to buy a house! So, we are officially moving to the 'burbs. The house is a 3 bedroom, 2 1/2 bath two-story in SW Austin. K has done a great job taking care of everything to get this done. Barring any complications, we'll close at the beginning of March, just a few days before my target weight-bearing date. Obviously, I will be limited in what I can do in terms of packing and other preparation before then. So, we'll probably have to do more of that once I'm off the crutches in March. Finally, a bit of much needed good news.

On the other side...

I had surgery to repair the fractures in my ankle on Monday. Other than oral surgery to have my wisdom teeth removed when I was in my early 20's, I haven't had any other surgeries...and gosh, I hope to never again. Since the word was first spoken in the ER last Tuesday, I have been terrified. Of a whole host of things really, but I think it ultimately came down to being out of control and not knowing what was going on with my body while under anesthesia. And, of course, what if something went wrong with the surgery? What if I didn't wake back up? As nervous as I was, I honestly don't know if it would have been any better if I was the one in the waiting room and K was the one on the operating table. I couldn't handle that either.

The procedure took about an hour or so (based on what I was told) and the surgeon assured K that everything went well and the joint looks good. I left the hospital with a pain pump that dispensed medication through a catheter in my left leg. The effect was that my entire leg was numb so I didn't feel a thing for the rest of the day. In fact, we even had a good time hanging out with my mom once she arrived that evening. But, um, yesterday was a different story.

As the anesthesiologist told us, the numbing of my leg started to wear off around 4 or 5am yesterday. I had been instructed to try to get ahead of this by preemptively taking the oral pain meds, which I did (but not the maximum dose that I should have which was hard to justify since it wasn't hurting at that point). Once K woke up (note that I did not wake him up when the pain appeared and waited for several hours on my own), I asked him to call the doc to see if we could increase the dose from the pump. After a huge argument with K (in front of my mom, nonetheless) and meltdown, I finally got settled down with the higher dose of pain medication via pump and oral meds. Yesterday was the first full day of work that K has had in the past week since my mom was here to take care of me and the house. I spent much of the day in a haze and refused to move even the slightest bit since it hurt so much. I didn't even get up to go to the bathroom until almost 9 last night (yes, I know that's not good). Another meltdown once I moved.

Thankfully, today seems to be 100 times better than yesterday was (meaning I have already gotten up to go the bathroom with no meltdown) so hopefully I have turned the corner. The pain pump ran out overnight so I'm back to the narcotics to manage the pain. I'm really grateful that my mom was able to be here to help out with cooking, cleaning, and running errands for us. And, I know K is too. He knows he's got to step it up from here. We've got a long way to go.

I appreciate all the messages from folks and for keeping us in your thoughts. It means a lot to know we have support, which has come from some unlikely places and not come from others.

So, what's next? Well, there's not a whole lot I can do at this point. So, lots of TV and movie watching in my future. We have a follow-up with the doc in 2 weeks or so. March 8 is the date that I can start putting weight back on my leg. So, I can pretty much write off February, I guess. It's only been a week so far, of which most of my time has been spent in a narcotics haze, but I already feel frustrated that life is going on all around me and I'm not out living it. I know we'll get through this and have been hugely fortunate in our lives, but we've really hit a rough patch in the past month or so starting with the break-in at the house during the week of Christmas. I'm ready for things to get back on track. Heck, I haven't really even had a chance to get my practice off and running yet to see how that develops. Ah, this year held such promise just a few weeks ago (just look at that optimism in my first couple of posts of the year!). Wherever things are headed, at least we're doing it together and that's really all that matters in the end.

A bump in the road....

Before my Vicodin-induced haze reappears, I want to update everyone on what's going on. As many of you know by now, I broke my ankle earlier this week. And, it didn't even happen while we were skiing! We got back from Breckenridge (where, ironically, I was uber cautious about getting hurt) late Monday night, and I joined Elizabeth and company for an impromptu trail run on the Greenbelt on Tuesday morning. K didn't even know that I was going running, so imagine his surprise when he got the phone call saying I was hurt just a short while later.

I think we were about 15-20 minutes into the run with Johanna leading the way when I slipped on a (wet) rock and heard the "pop" when I went down. I have taken several falls out there, but I knew this one was different because of that pop. JB and I waited for Elizabeth and friend to catch up to us before I got up to see how bad it was. I was able to take a few steps at that point, as the swelling didn't immediately appear. Running was a no go, as was walking after just a few minutes, and I knew it was going to be tough to get out of there in the condition I was in. But, damn, those girls are tough and did everything they could to help me out. I am so grateful that I was with them. I seriously do not know what I would have done without them. After determining that the jostling of my leg was too painful with them carrying me or walking with their support, I just needed to sit/lay down while Elizabeth went on to get help. Elizabeth made it back to the car to call K and 911 then led the special rescue unit back down to where we were on the trail. I was so grateful to see her followed by a bunch of firemen and paramedics. The firemen had the muscle to get me out on a basket with wheels, and the paramedics had the drugs. God bless them both.

K was waiting for us at the Hill of Life once we emerged. I was then transported by ambulance to St. David's South Austin Medical Center and fast-tracked for evaluation and treatment. After x-rays, the diagnosis was a trimalleolor fracture (meaning that I broke all 3 bones in my left ankle) with surgical treatment needed. Once I heard the word surgery, I lost it. I am terrified of having surgery, an unnecessary fear I know. But, I am. After wrapping my leg in a splint and given crutches, we were sent home with a prescription for pain medication and instructions to be evaluated by the orthopedist on Thursday. I've been knocked out on the couch for much of the time since we got home late Tuesday afternoon until our visit with the ortho doc this morning. He came highly recommended by JB, and we were lucky that he was able to squeeze me in today. They took another set of x-rays which precipitated another meltdown when they took off the splint and I saw my ankle.

So, here we are. Surgery is scheduled for Monday with 6 weeks post-op of non-weightbearing activity followed by many more weeks of rehab. The realization of what this means in terms of my identity as a runner hasn't hit me, but I know that it will once the immediate focus of getting through the surgery on Monday has passed. At that point, I'll probably still be too focused on the intense pain so I'm sure the depression will kick in a few weeks from now. As one of the paramedics who had been tending to me was leaving me at the ER, he told me to take the time needed to heal and not push to get back to physical activity too soon. He said he could see it in my eye that I'm one of those types. True enough.

Obviously, I can't drive and won't be able to for several weeks after surgery because I'll still be on pain meds. K has been running around like a chicken with his head cut off trying to take care of everything. He just might be having a tougher time than I am right now. We both have a long road ahead. Thank you all for your support and kind words.

(Oh, and if all this wasn't enough, when K went to meet with our real estate agent yesterday to put in an offer on the house we chose, we found out that someone else beat us to it over the weekend!)

Progress report...

I outlined a few things in my previous post that are in progress and deserve an update...

First, the house. After looking at a handful of houses this week, we are fortunate to be in a position where we actually have 2 strong contenders to choose from. They each have their respective pro's and con's, and the struggle since Monday has been how are we going to choose between them. After seeing them again today, we feel pretty comfortable with our choice at this point. Next step is getting the financing lined up and submitting an offer, likely at the beginning of next week. More to come as things progress.

The timing of a potential move in the next 4-6 weeks works well with the flexibility in my schedule right now so that I have the ability to take care of a lot of the packing and other details. I have been absolutely loving not "working" over the past week. It has allowed me to take care of a lot of errands and other things that would normally get pushed back to the weekend (or maybe not done at all). I know it won't always be like this (and I would probably go nuts if it was), but I'll take it for now.

In terms of the practice, I have a big decision to make, and I'm not happy with the likely outcome. The ideal situation is to operate a 100% private pay practice and not have to deal with the hassles of accepting insurance (e.g., obtaining preauthorization for services, billing, and predetermined reimbursement rates). I know several others who have been successful with this model, so I know it's possible. But, I don't think it's realistic when I'm just starting out. I need clients, plain and simple. Getting on an insurance panel is one fairly sure fire way to make that happen. Yet, the reimbursement rates are not desirable. Obviously, some money is better than no money, but still... It was a pretty sad realization that I have my doctorate and would be reimbursed by insurance at rates equal to or less than some other service providers without a degree. And, I have to pay $700/month in student loans for this privilege? The majority of mental health professionals go into this field because they want to "help people" and "make a difference," but now I'm also seeing the business side of things. And, it ain't pretty. But, I still don't have any regrets about leaving my job and taking this risk.

I definitely don't feel as beat down as I used to and don't need as much "recharging." This has given me the energy to be more social again. We had a great time seeing friends at a couple of birthday parties over the weekend (in the midst of our heater going out on one of the coldest nights in years - it was 47 degrees in our house on Sunday morning!). I also enjoyed a nice trail run with Elizabeth this morning. It felt great to be back out there again!

So, at this midpoint of the first month in 2010, all seems to be moving forward quite nicely. Next stop: Breckenridge, CO.

Reconnecting...

2010 holds promise to be a year of significant changes for me/and K. Not only change, but reconnection.

Obviously one of the biggest changes thus far and moving forward will be developing my own practice and reconnecting with my professional goals. I have strayed so far from what I set out to do in terms of my career in recent years. I have been so fortunate to receive great training and experiences since I embarked on this journey to become a psychologist 12 1/2 years (wow, really?) ago. I am confident in my clinical skills, and I need to use them to make a difference in the lives of children and families, not to manage others. My last day at work was on Monday, and it still hasn't really hit me yet that I'm not going back. So far it just feels like I am taking a couple of days off. We spent much of the past weekend getting my office set up, and it turned out to be so much better than I could have hoped for. We have a few finishing touches to take care of, but otherwise I am open for business. So, I will be networking a lot in the upcoming weeks to (hopefully) start getting referrals (if you have any connections with schools, pediatric docs, attorneys, daycare providers, or anyone else who works with kids, please send me an email or leave me a note). There's a lot of unknown ahead, and I generally don't do well with that, but this is a risk that I had to take for my professional growth and personal happiness. So, I'm moving forward and not looking back.

In light of that unknown though, it's certainly not the best time to consider another major change, particularly one that requires an element of financial security and stability. But, after our house was broken into a couple of days before Christmas, we've decided that we need to accelerate our plan to buy a house (in another neighborhood!). We've scouted out a few neighborhoods in the West and Southwest areas, and are actively starting the process of finding/buying a house. It makes the most sense for us to live Southwest since that is where we both work now, although K is fighting the move to the 'burbs. We'll try to take advantage of the first-time homebuyer tax credit by April so this will be another big project we're undertaking in the next couple of months.

With the increased flexibility in my schedule, I'm ready to start training again. After my injury late last summer, I took some time off to heal which then turned into an extended hiatus from running, mostly because of the stress of dealing with other things in life (namely work) at the time and then the holidays. I haven't really set any major goals for the year yet (in part because my goals for last year were shot to hell due to illness and injury), but some short-term plans are already starting to take shape (which is good so that I'll get off my expanding butt and start running again). My first race of the year will likely be the NYC Half in March. We had such a great time during our trip there last month that we are looking forward to going back. I also want K to have the experience of running in NYC since he'll probably never do the NYC Marathon with me. The next big event will be the Pocatello 50 in May. I am running the relay with some of our trail running buddies, and I'm looking forward to getting back out on the trails in the next few weeks. With these events in place, I'll probably build toward a fall marathon and/or ultra in the latter part of the year. But, first, I need to get my butt moving so that my running shorts will fit again.

2009 was a big year of travel for us. With my job change, we are likely going to have to cut back on that this year until my practice takes off. But, somehow, we already seem to have a travel schedule developing. We're heading to CO for a ski trip at Breckenridge next weekend, NYC to run in March, NCAA Regionals also in March, a wedding in Ohio in April, trail race in Idaho in May, and our trip to France for the Tour in July. And, that's just the things that are already in place for the first half of the year!

I also hope that 2010 is a year of reconnecting with my social side. I really think that the job change will have a huge (positive) impact on that. I need to nurture those relationships that are meaningful and satisfying, and accept those that have become distant due to different priorities or other changes.

So, 2010 holds much potential and the opportunity to reconnect with myself as a psychologist, runner, and friend. I want to enjoy life again. And, I hope to share that with you again by blogging more often.

Finally, the big reveal...

On Thursday, November 12, my FB status read "had a 'Good Will Hunting' moment today and quit my job."

So, let me explain.

Had I been thinking about it for awhile? Not exactly. Was it impulsive? Yes, somewhat. Am I happy about it? Most definitely.

After the straw that broke the camel's back occurred, I called K at lunch that Monday and told him that we needed to have a discussion that night about what it would take for me to be able to quit my job. Needless to say, he didn't see this coming and was speechless for a moment. I filled him in and said it was time for me to get out. Since I've actually had a few offers come to me unsolicited in the past year or so, he had been encouraging this anyway. He was still caught off guard though.

So, we talked about the financials, what I would do next, and other logistics (like health insurance). After putting out several feelers to people, things quickly started falling into place where quitting seemed like a very real possibility. I couldn't believe how things were aligning in just the right way, in such a short time frame, for me to move forward with this plan. And, that's how I came to give my notice of leaving at work just a few short days later.

No, I didn't walk out. I have way too much sense of professional responsibility and obligation to do that. To meet the needs of the Department, as well my own, my last day of work will be January 4. I have 13 business days left. And, I cannot wait.

Am I entering the world of unemployment? No. Rather, I am entering the world of self-employment. Fast forward a month later and my new venture is officially ready to be revealed!

Please check out the website, and I will be in direct contact with some of you in the upcoming weeks to network, particularly with teachers, pediatricians, family law attorneys, neurologists, oncologists, daycare providers, other mental health professionals, and anybody else who works with or knows kids!

I have already reached out to my network and appreciate the assistance that people have provided to get me to this point. A big thanks to Phillip and John for info on how to select and set up the appropriate business structure; Paula for directing me to the right place for setting up a website; Persephanie, Liz, and Pam for sharing their professional forms with me; Julie for designing the logo; Erin for the gift of a Rorschach; and most importantly, K for the encouragement, financial support, and believing in me. Without him this would not be possible.

Pre-Halloween fun...

We went to a baby shower for our friends, Adam and Kristin, today. It was a fun chance to don costumes and get ready for Halloween in a few weeks. A few fun pictures from the day:

Parents-to-be:
Baby Elvis:
K & m, winners of best costume:
Mobster in training:
Fun with his gun:
Our prize:

The good wife...

I could care less for college football...except for the fact that my husband's mood is dependent on the Ohio State game every Saturday in the fall. So, it was truly a selfless act that we ended up in Columbus for the Ohio State vs. Wisconsin game today. It was my anniversary gift to him.

Unfortunately, due to flight delays, we arrived in Columbus 3 hours later than expected last night. After a rainy day yesterday, we were treated to great football weather today. K had a nice run up to campus this morning, while I opted to sleep in and rest up for the madness that was to come later. We grabbed a quick lunch downtown then hopped on the bus to campus where the numbers of fans grew with each passing block. We got there in time for the Skull Session, the pre-game rehearsal for The Ohio State marching band ("The best damn band in the land").
Then, we made our way into The Horseshoe among a sea of red as far as the eye could see. We settled into our seats early and waited for the "fun" to begin.
The famous "Script Ohio"...Sweater Vest himself leading the players onto the field...I can't give you any commentary on the game - all I know is that I was relieved when K was happy and worried when he was not.

A happy K with the final score: Ohio State 31 - Wisconsin 13.
Then, it was off to the Short North arts district to get away from the madness and enjoy 3-way chili at Surly Girl Saloon (which we discovered during our last trip to Columbus). And to K's chagrin (and my delight), there were no tv's to be seen while we were eating dinner so he couldn't stay updated on the rest of the football games - ha!

The good wife indeed.

Update via pictures...

I've fallen off the blogging wagon again. Let's start back with a quick recap via pictures:

After celebrating our anniversary in San Francisco at the beginning of September, we made a quick trip to Houston the following weekend to pick up my new car. What a beauty!
Since I work so close to home, I actually don't drive it too much each day. We took a Sunday drive out to Wimberley the weekend after we got it in order to let loose. K insists on putting the top down each time he gets in the car, even if we're just making a short trip somewhere. :)

Last weekend found us in Tucson for the weekend. We took a short jaunt through Sabino Canyon on Saturday morning.
After an afternoon of college football at the hotel, it was time for Kurt's cousin's wedding that evening. It was a lovely wedding, and we enjoyed spending time with many of Kurt's relatives who were in town for the festivities. Before we left on Sunday, we got an up close and personal behind the scenes tour from the groom's mom who is a zookeeper at the Reid Park Zoo. Here's a few pictures of K having fun with the animals:

Although I would much rather have been running the marathon in St. George yesterday, my forced hiatus from running meant that we were in town after all for ACL this weekend. I was looking forward the most to seeing Kings of Leon on Friday night, but I thought the show was somewhat of a let down. We started the evening after we got off work with Thievery Corporation, Them Crooked Vultures, and a little bit of Andrew Bird before Kings of Leon.
Yesterday the weather was the story of the day. Once we arrived in the afternoon, we settled in with our rain ponchos and umbrellas, and pretty much didn't move until the end of the night. We were pretty successful in staying dry and avoiding the mud for the most part. Flogging Molly was a good show, as was Ghostland Observatory. We were excited to see that they had the UT Marching Band with them again for "The Band Marches On."
Heading out now for Day 3...