A long way to go...

It's been a rough day.

I had my first follow-up visit with the doc since my surgery 2 1/2 weeks ago. The plan was to have the sutures removed, more X-rays, and replace the splint with a boot. Getting the splint off has been my main goal for the past week or so because it was so darn heavy and uncomfortable. Again with my false expectations, I assumed that I would be infinitely more comfortable with the boot. Essentially, feeling fine again.

HA!

For a smart girl, I can be really stupid sometimes.

The first order of business at today's appointment was to get the splint removed, which naturally involved some slight jostling of my ankle. Cue the waterworks. The tears intensified once I got the first look at my ankle in three weeks. While the swelling had gone substantially down (meaning my foot no longer looked like the head of a hammerhead shark), so had my lower leg muscles. My leg looked so puny!!!! My runner girl calf was long gone. I also had a glance at where the incisions are on each side of my foot. Glance I said, as I couldn't really bear to look at my leg for long.

Next up were the X-rays. And, more tears because I had to get my foot as flat as possible for them which was quite painful. My anxiety just spiraled from there because I saw how much difficulty I was having with flexing my foot, which is critical in terms of my ability to make progress with range of motion and walking once it's time. Range of motion in my ankles has been a huge issue with me even before this happened (my massage therapist will say a big amen to that) so this is going to be exacerbated with my current state.

Then it was time for the stitches to get removed. Bless the kind nurse who was patient with me during this process. It didn't really hurt too bad, but I was already on edge anyway so that made things worse.

Cue the doc. He indicated that he wants me to start PT now (rather than waiting until I am weight-bearing which is what typically occurs) because he's concerned that my anxiety about moving my ankle will inhibit me doing range of motion exercises on my own. Smart guy.

Then for the grand finale. Getting fitted for the boot, which meant that my foot had to be at a 90 degree angle. Again with the patient nurse who told me to take deep breaths (as I'm crying and telling K that I can't do it) and keep pressing my heel down as far as I could. Somehow I don't think it's going to go well when K and I have to do this ourselves at home.

So, where to from here? I have my first PT appointment next Tuesday to start working on range of motion and desensitization. I still can't put any weight on it though so I'm on my crutches until March 9. I know that it's not THAT far away, but just getting through one day is difficult. And, somehow we'll be homeowners at that point and moving into our new home. How exactly that's going to happen is still an unknown...