Today marks 12 weeks from injury, and yesterday marked 11 weeks from surgery. I have been weight-bearing for a month. And, while I have obviously made progress, there is still a lot of ground to cover ahead. It seems that the closer I get to "normal" activities, the more it becomes apparent that I'm not back to "normal" yet. The past week or so has had it's emotional up's and down's as I continue to deal with the rehab process.
First, let me focus on the positive (which I tend to not do). My range of motion has continued to improve, which has allowed my PT to work on other things. In fact, he declared today that he is no longer worried about my progress (or lack thereof). Walking continues to show intermittent improvement, but I ask my PT each session for feedback ("What am I doing wrong?") because it's still not "normal." Today seemed better than it has thus far, although still with areas to focus on. I have been grateful that I'm able to workout at the gym again. I have been pleasantly surprised with the cardio that survived the months of inactivity, and I realized that the endurance athlete inside me has a hard time exercising in moderation.
So, reality is that everything seems to be going as well as can be expected at this point. I seem to be over the hump and continuing to make progress. It's just that whole running thing that I've insisted on working back to and the time that it will take to get back to "normal." My impatience is showing, I know. I have to wait until my 3-month follow-up with the surgeon in 2 weeks (and 2 days but who's counting) to get cleared to run then my PT will start working with me on a progression of activities that seem like they will take me into June. I'm not necessarily trying to rush the process because it's apparent that there are still things I need to master before I can try to run. I'm not stupid enough to think that I can run when I still can't walk normally yet. I need to continue gaining range of motion and developing strength first. I'm just frustrated with the amount of time the whole recovery process has taken...and just how much of my life has been taken away by this. I miss running, but I also miss the community of running. Travel plans have been canceled or postponed. And, there's the financial losses this has caused as well.
I know things are improving day by day. I really do. I see it with each new movement or activity. I'm just frustrated that there's still a long way to go on this road. I know what I need to do to cope, and I know that I'll get through this. What other choice do I have than to keep moving forward, one step at a time? I just wish those steps were a little faster, that's all.
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